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Men and women are different in terms of their characteristics and abilities. For this reason, some jobs are better done by men and others by women. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

Men and women are different in terms of their characteristics and abilities. For this reason, some jobs are better done by men and others by women. v. 3
The variations between males and females have been controversial since the beginning of modern societies. This has raised certain questions about sorting jobs, according to gender. Although there are valid arguments to the contrary, I believe that there are suitable jobs for men and other ones for women. The reasons for this are twofold. First of all, it is vitally important to take the physical and emotional nature of men and women into consideration. Firstly, handy jobs are more convenient for males rather than females; since their bodies are more potent and faster, and that would result in finishing work on time. If women were assigned in construction work, the duration needed to accomplish the job would take twice as long. On the other hand, working as a teacher in kindergarten or primary schools seems to be naturally prepared for women, as they are more caring and passionate. Imagine what would happen if a man was doing this job, as they can get angry faster. Secondly, and even more importantly, some sensitive jobs need specific features, for example being strict and objective, whereas women tend to be more subjective and make decisions according to feelings and emotions. Therefore, they highly likely to be abused by taking advantage of them in such sensitive positions such as the judiciary. By way of conclusion, I reaffirm that both men and women have their vital rule in life. To my mind, their role in life has to depend on their body nature and their mental abilities to handle stressful jobs and its consequences.
The variations between males and females have been controversial since the beginning of modern societies. This has raised certain questions about sorting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, according to gender. Although there are valid arguments to the contrary, I believe that there are suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and other ones for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. The reasons for this are twofold.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is
vitally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to take the physical and emotional nature of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
into consideration.
Firstly
, handy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are more convenient for males
rather
than females; since their bodies are more potent and faster, and that would result in finishing work on time. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
were assigned
in construction work, the duration needed to accomplish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
would take twice as long.
On the other hand
, working as a teacher in kindergarten or primary schools seems to be
naturally
prepared for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, as they are more caring and passionate. Imagine what would happen if a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
was doing this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, as they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
angry faster.

Secondly
, and even more
importantly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sensitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
need specific features,
for example
being strict and objective, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
tend to be more subjective and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decisions according to feelings and emotions.
Therefore
, they
highly
likely to
be abused
by taking advantage of them in such sensitive positions such as the judiciary.

By way of conclusion, I reaffirm that both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have their vital
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
in life. To my mind, their role in life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
depend on their body nature and their mental abilities to handle stressful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and its consequences.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Men and women are different in terms of their characteristics and abilities. For this reason, some jobs are better done by men and others by women. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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