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It is increasingly popular to find out the history of your family. What do you think are the reasons for this and it it as positive or negative development? v.1

It is increasingly popular to find out the history of your family. What do you think are the reasons for this and it it as positive or negative development? v. 1
Exploring one’s family background stories is becoming more and more popular. Through discovering past family stories, people can reconnect with their own ancestors and find useful information, such as chronic disease history, to better understand who they really are. These findings, in my opinion, can be beneficial for people’s future. Human beings are always looking for a way to better understand themselves and people can achieve this by reconnecting with their past. By knowing the stories of your own family, you can learn more about what has made you in a certain way, and sometimes may even be inspired by these relatives. For example, if you do not know why you like playing piano since you were born, and later you found out that one of your family members happened to be a famous pianist, this reconnection will help you to solve your inner puzzle and will become extra motivation while you practice piano. When you read the stories of those virtuoso pianists, certain members of their families must also be working as musicians. Some people want to live a healthier life. Therefore, finding out one’s origins of a family becomes a crucial step. In order to prevent certain lethal and chronic diseases, doctors always ask for people’s past medical history, which includes not just your own medical records but also that of your relatives. What if you do not have sufficient data of your family trees, the doctors might not be able to give you an accurate diagnosis. Especially, we know that some diseases are caused implicitly by the DNA passed down through different generations. Overall, the trend of understanding your own family history has positive effects on your lives. This helps you find your life purpose and strengthen your health. As long as many people can see the value of discovering the past stories of their families, I believe that the rest of the people might get the benefits too, because our world can have more talents and healthier people. In conclusion, it is advantageous for people to learn more about their own origins and background. Whatever people are looking for is inner improvement or physical demand, researching your past stories will definitely achieve these goals.
Exploring one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
background
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
is becoming more and more popular. Through discovering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can reconnect with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
ancestors and find useful information, such as chronic disease history, to better understand who they
really
are. These findings, in my opinion, can be beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
future.

Human beings are always looking for a way to better understand themselves and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can achieve

this by reconnecting with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. By knowing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
of your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, you can learn more about what has made you in a certain way, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
may even
be inspired
by these relatives.
For example
, if you do not know why you like playing piano since you
were born
, and later you found out that one of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members happened to be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
pianist, this reconnection will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you to solve your inner puzzle and will become extra motivation while you practice piano. When you read the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
of those virtuoso pianists, certain members of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
be working as musicians.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a healthier life.
Therefore
, finding out one’s origins of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
becomes a crucial step. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
certain lethal and chronic diseases, doctors always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
medical history, which includes not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
medical records
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
that of your relatives. What if you do not have sufficient data of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
trees, the doctors might not be able to give you an accurate diagnosis.
Especially
, we know that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
diseases
are caused
implicitly
by the DNA passed down through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
generations.

Overall
, the trend of understanding your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
history has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
you find your life purpose and strengthen your health. As long as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the value of discovering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, I believe that the rest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the benefits too,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
our world can have more talents and healthier
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, it is advantageous for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to learn more about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
origins and background.

Whatever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are looking for is inner improvement or physical demand, researching your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
will definitely achieve these goals.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay It is increasingly popular to find out the history of your family. What do you think are the reasons for this and it it as positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
368 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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