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It is impossible to help all people in the world, so governments should only focus on people in their own countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

It is impossible to help all people in the world, so governments should only focus on people in their own countries. v. 1
To bring a change to the world, an individual needs to start it from their own house and same goes to the above mentioned statement as well. I highly do agree with the point that governments should only focus on their own countries because each kingdom has a government and if the authorities are strong enough to make changes in their respective countries for betterment, at the point it will lead to an overall change in the entire earth. There are several changes that can be made in for the growth of a nation, for an instance, in the education system, cleanliness, pollution control, rise in the employment rate, medical facilities etc. For an example, if a city has the highest literacy late, medical facilities, employment options and pollution control ideas, later a particular city always stays ahead in terms of growth as compared of rest of the towns or cities in a community because higher literacy rate will lead to better job opportunities and better knowledge and awareness about medical facilities and when you have all these qualities, soon after you take initiatives to keep their areas clean and try to find ways to minimize pollution too because they want a healthy life. On the basis of all the above mentioned examples, I believe it gives a clear picture about the advantages the nation will get by focusing only on people of their own homeland. In the other scenario, if we talk about the same statement by keeping in head if we want to help all the people in the world, so it would be a tough task because the population rate, resource availability, economy's strength all that varies from region to region. So, the steps taken to help the people of one terrain might not be beneficial for the other one because if one land offers free education of the second child and in that specific soil the couples on an average have two children, so it will be beneficial for them, but in another country where people have 4 or 5 kids the same policy might not be useful. In conclusion, I would like to state that all the governments can unite together to help each other in order to make the world a better place by helping all the people around the globe. They should unite together to take help for what they do not have in their own territory, but they should work separately in their respective countries because they know their country better.
To bring a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
to the world, an individual needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
it from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and same goes to the above mentioned statement
as well
. I
highly
do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the point that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focus on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
each kingdom has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and if the authorities are strong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in their respective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for betterment, at the point it will lead to an
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in the entire earth.

There are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
that can
be made
in for the growth of a nation, for an instance, in the education system, cleanliness, pollution control, rise in the employment rate, medical facilities etc. For an example, if a city has the highest literacy late, medical facilities, employment options and pollution control
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, later a particular city always stays ahead in terms of growth as compared of rest of the towns or cities in a community
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
higher literacy rate will lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
job opportunities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
knowledge and awareness about medical facilities and when you have all these qualities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
after you take initiatives to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their areas clean and try to find ways to minimize pollution too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want a healthy life. On the basis of all the above mentioned examples, I believe it gives a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
picture about the advantages the nation will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
by focusing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
homeland.

In the other scenario, if we talk about the same statement by keeping in head if we want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it would be a tough task
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the population rate, resource availability, economy's strength all that varies from region to region.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the steps taken to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of one terrain might not be beneficial for the other one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if one land offers free education of the second child and in that specific soil the couples on an average have two children,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it will be beneficial for them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have 4 or 5 kids the same policy might not be useful.

In conclusion
, I would like to state that all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can unite together to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
each other in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the world a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
place by helping all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the globe. They should unite together to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
for what they do not have in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
territory,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they should work
separately
in their respective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they know their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay It is impossible to help all people in the world, so governments should only focus on people in their own countries. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
419 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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