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The main purpose of public libraries is to provide books and they shouldn t waste their limited resources and space on providing expensive hi tech media such as computer software videos and DVDs To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement v.2

The main purpose of public libraries is to provide books and they shouldn t waste their limited resources and space on providing expensive hi tech media such as computer software videos and DVDs with this statement v. 2
Although it is true that the primary objective of public libraries is to maintain a wide collection of books from numerous genre. However, in my opinion, in today’s technologically advanced times, it is also essential for them to upgrade themselves with the fast moving time and provide cutting-edge means of sharing information in the form of soft-media, audio, and videos. On the one hand, there are few reasons behind people suggesting traditional libraries to avoid using technology. Technology, firstly, is expensive and require huge initial investments to get it set up, and not all libraries can afford such a big scale of investment. Therefore, they tend to focus on maintaining existing assets rather than moving towards fancy technology. Secondly, these people also think that having the latest hi-tech media might deviate the society from the actual purpose of the libraries. In their opinion, if libraries cater to various entertainment media like video and audios, then the primary purpose of a library would be killed and people would consider them as a means of entertainment only rather than for the sake of learning. The people’s reasoning stated above are understandable but obviously mistaken, as technology, on the other hand, has enormous potential to have a positive influence on the way the information is shared. For instance, the latest devices such as DVD, CD and USB drives can store a huge collection of the entire library resources on a single device of less than 12-centimeter size. Furthermore, the technology allows the content to be presented in a plethora of interesting forms such as video documentaries, movies, speeches etc. as a result, people can enjoy and learn at the same time. Consequently, more and more people will get attracted towards them. Coming to the make point related to financial investment, it is undeniable fact that the initial cost of investment is big, however, the return of investment is much greater than the initial investment, as once set up, the technology has proven to be reliable and durable and can last for at least a couple of decades. For the reasons mentioned above, it can be concluded that the traditional libraries are obsolete and outdated. Therefore, enabling them with the advanced technology must be encouraged and should be considered as a positive development.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
it is true that the primary objective of public libraries is to maintain a wide collection of books from numerous genre.
However
, in my opinion, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
technologically
advanced times, it is
also
essential for them to upgrade themselves with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
moving time and provide cutting-edge means of sharing information in the form of soft-media, audio, and videos.

On the one hand, there are few reasons behind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suggesting traditional libraries to avoid using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
,
firstly
, is expensive and require huge initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investments
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it set up, and not all libraries can afford such a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
scale of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
.
Therefore
, they tend to focus on maintaining existing assets
rather
than moving towards fancy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
Secondly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that having the latest hi-tech media might deviate the society from the actual purpose of the libraries. In their opinion, if libraries cater to various entertainment media like video and audios, then the primary purpose of a library would
be killed
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would consider them as a means of entertainment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
rather
than for the sake of learning.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
reasoning stated above are understandable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
obviously
mistaken, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
on the other hand
, has enormous potential to have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence on the way the information
is shared
.
For instance
, the latest devices such as DVD, CD and USB drives can store a huge collection of the entire library resources on a single device of less than 12-centimeter size.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the content to
be presented
in a plethora of interesting forms such as video documentaries, movies, speeches etc.
as a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can enjoy and learn at the same time.
Consequently
, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attracted towards them. Coming to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
point related to financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
, it is undeniable fact that the initial cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
,
however
, the return of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
is much greater than the initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
, as once set up, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has proven to be reliable and durable and can last for at least a couple of decades.

For the reasons mentioned above, it can
be concluded
that the traditional libraries are obsolete and outdated.
Therefore
, enabling them with the advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be encouraged
and should
be considered
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The main purpose of public libraries is to provide books and they shouldn t waste their limited resources and space on providing expensive hi tech media such as computer software videos and DVDs with this statement v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
379 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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