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Explain some of the way in which humans are damaging the enviroment. What can governments do to adress these problems. What can individual do. v.2

Explain some of the way in which humans are damaging the enviroment. What can governments do to adress these problems. What can individual do. v. 2
In developing process, the way humans deliberate or accidentally impair the environment varies. In order to mitigate these issues, there is a need for greater effort from the government and individuals simultaneously. On the one hand, there are a vast variety of how human activities are responsible to environment contamination. Firstly, in the context of expansion of urban areas, air quality is severely degraded. It is proven that exhaust emission from personal vehicles and factories is the primary factor contributing to alarming air pollution. Secondly, water source is also damaged by human activities. It is evident that irresponsible disposal of water to water is directly killing aquatic lives and impairing the waterworks. For instance, a serious oil spillage near Caribbean coastal areas put the life of thousands of birds in jeopardy. On the other hand, there are several remedies to address these problems. From government scale, there is a need for imposing greater tax on personal transports and petroleum industry. As a result, this will discourage people from using personal vehicles, leading to reduction of emission from these transport. Also, in order to dictate illicit disposal, there is a ground for authorities to impose more restrictive constrain on industry. For individual scale, rather than using personal vehicles such as automobiles or motorbikes, they should opt for public transport. Moreover, people should engage in campaigns aiming at raising public awareness about these worrying problems. It goes without saying that there are a number of ways which human have contaminated the environment, urging government and individuals to adopt for several long-term solutions to deal with this effectively.
In developing process, the way
humans
deliberate or
accidentally
impair the environment varies. In order to mitigate these issues, there is a need for greater effort from the
government
and individuals
simultaneously
.

On the one hand, there are a vast variety of how
human
activities are responsible to environment contamination.
Firstly
, in the context of expansion of urban areas, air quality is
severely
degraded. It
is proven
that exhaust emission from
personal
vehicles and factories is the primary factor contributing to alarming air pollution.
Secondly
, water source is
also
damaged by
human
activities. It is evident that irresponsible disposal of water to water is
directly
killing aquatic
lives
and impairing the waterworks.
For instance
, a serious oil spillage
near Caribbean
coastal areas put the life of thousands of birds in jeopardy.

On the other hand
, there are several remedies to address these problems. From
government
scale, there is a need for imposing greater tax on
personal
transports and petroleum industry.
As a result
, this will discourage
people
from using
personal
vehicles, leading to reduction of emission from these transport.
Also
, in order to dictate illicit disposal, there is a ground for authorities to impose more restrictive constrain on industry. For individual scale,
rather
than using
personal
vehicles such as automobiles or motorbikes, they should opt for public transport.
Moreover
,
people
should engage in campaigns aiming at raising public awareness about these worrying problems.

It goes without saying that there are a number of ways which
human
have contaminated the environment, urging
government
and individuals to adopt for several long-term solutions to deal with this
effectively
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Explain some of the way in which humans are damaging the enviroment. What can governments do to adress these problems. What can individual do. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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