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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and v.63

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and v. 63
The acceleration of the technology in 21st century has had a remarkable effect on punishment of children. Nowadays, it is commonly accepted that physical punishment is not appropriate for children. Contrary to this popular belief, there are still those who argue that corporeal punishment is better for them. However, I am inclined to think that physical or even mental punishment is not suitable methods to encourage children to do the right thing. First and foremost, the punishment is not an appropriate choice to aid children to recognize distinction between bad and good. There are also some other rewarding ways. For example, when a child does something wrong such as breaking a glass jar, his mother can show him that breaking a jar is not correct by demonstration of an appropriate behavior such as talking to him calmly and explaining him the correct way for the next time, in order to prevent him of a danger by broken glass. Another significant fact which should be taken into account is that the corporeal punishment will create physical and moral problems for children in the future. If a child grows up in a family with violent environment and atmosphere, he will show similar behavior in school as well as society. In other words, violent behavior is inscribed on mind of a child, if he/she rose up from an inappropriate family with aggressive members. Finally, teachers and parents play a vital role on children behavior, thus their manner has direct impact on how a child understands the difference between doing well or not. For instance, teachers can help children by making a friendly environment in class room to encourage children to work together. On the other hand, they should be aware of the advantages of competition which aid children to be strong and improving their self-esteem. All summed up, on the basis of the points mentioned above, I am convinced that teacher and parents should be careful about their own behavior, which are important and have influence on children. It seems inevitable that there are more and more ways to inhibit a child from punishment. However, it is our responsibility to evaluate those ways and decide whether it will do more harm than good.
The acceleration of the technology in 21st century has had a remarkable effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Nowadays, it is
commonly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is not appropriate for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Contrary to this popular belief, there are
still
those who argue that corporeal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is better for them.
However
, I
am inclined
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that physical or even mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is not suitable methods to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to do the right thing.

First
and foremost, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is not an appropriate choice to aid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to recognize distinction between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. There are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other rewarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
.
For example
, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
does something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
such as breaking a glass jar, his mother can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
him that breaking a jar is not correct by demonstration of an appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
such as talking to him
calmly
and explaining
The verb 'to explain something to someone' requires a preposition.
him
the correct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
for the
next
time, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
him of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
by broken glass.

Another significant fact which should
be taken
into account is that the corporeal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
will create physical and moral problems for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the future. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
grows up in a family with violent environment and atmosphere, he will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
in school
as well
as society.
In other words
, violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
is inscribed
on mind of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
, if he/she rose up from an inappropriate family with aggressive members.

Finally
, teachers and parents play a vital role on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
,
thus
their manner has direct impact on how a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
understands the difference between doing well or not.
For instance
, teachers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by making a friendly environment in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
room to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to work together.
On the other hand
, they should be aware of the advantages of competition which aid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be strong and improving their self-esteem.

All summed up, on the basis of the points mentioned above, I
am convinced
that teacher and parents should be careful about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
, which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and have influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. It seems inevitable that there are more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to inhibit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
.
However
, it is our responsibility to evaluate those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
and decide whether it will do more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and v. 63

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
370 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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