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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? v.4

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? v. 4
Punishment is the act of imposing a penalty on someone as a result of his or her wrong doings. I strongly agree that punishment is necessary to keep children under control, especially when they start to learn the world around them at an early age. In ancient times, many methods of punishments were used by parents as well as teachers to teach their children to learn good behaviour and to prohibit from certain acts. Thus punishment helped children to adapt right choices and reject wrong ones even at a very early age. At present, the tradition of punishment is continuing in almost all the societies. However, the ways and techniques of punishment are changed greatly from hard ones to soft ones and from physical to verbal. In developed countries, there are child protection rules and both parents and teachers are bound to follow their rules. Therefore, it is important to note that both parents and teachers have to use soft punishments for children like minimizing their sports time, reducing their pocket money, keep their breaks on for studies in order to keep children on right track. By doing so, we will definitely have an advanced generation of children in the near future who will be wise enough to choose right options for their future life. Hence, I am strongly agreed that parents and teachers have the authority to use punishment as a correction tool for children, but they have to ensure that any punishment given to a child must not affect his or her physical or mental capacities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Punishment
is the act of imposing a penalty on someone
as a result
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
doings. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
under control,
especially
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to learn the world around them at an early age.

In ancient times,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
methods of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
to teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and to prohibit from certain acts.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to adapt right choices and reject
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
even at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early age. At present, the tradition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is continuing in almost all the societies.
However
, the ways and techniques of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
greatly
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
to soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
and from physical to verbal.

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
, there are child protection
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are bound
to follow their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to note that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
like minimizing their sports time, reducing their pocket money,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their breaks on for studies in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
on right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
. By doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, we will definitely have an advanced generation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the near future who will be wise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to choose right options for their future life.

Hence
, I am
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have the authority to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
as a correction tool for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
ensure that any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to a child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not affect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
physical or mental capacities.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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