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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? v.35

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? v. 35
It is undeniable truth that children are innocence and not always make difference between true and false. Therefore, some restrictions and punishments can be applied by parents or teachers in order to learn these two opposite concepts. Personally, I think that these practices should be balanced and in favour of children. In the first step we should not forget children are pure and to become a good mature they need to distinguish the differences between right and wrong. The responsibility of learnt this distinction belongs to parents and teachers. In order to improve realization of the what is true or not can be explained by the game. For example, if the child can tell the truth a gift like a the most popular toy can be given to this child. On the other side, in case that child can not act according to rules, this child can be punished by not permitting to play his best play game. The other coin of why punishment rules should be followed is protection of children. In the early ages, it is normal to not understand who is trustful and good person. Moreover, to prevent children danger like bad intention people and paedophile; the significance of warning parents and teachers can be explained to children by punishment system. For instance, if parents see his child talk strangers without any hesitation, parents can warn their child seriously, but in balance, and ban to child’s talk non-relative people. In conclusion, I am prone to apply some punishments on the children by their parents and teachers on the behalf of children’s making differences between true and false. When children have been growing, they need to know what the right and wrong. Additionally, this punishment system serves the protection children from dangers.
It is undeniable truth that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are innocence and not always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
difference between true and false.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
restrictions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
can
be applied
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in order to learn these two opposite concepts.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these practices should
be balanced
and in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of children.

In the
first
step we should not forget
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are pure and to become a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
mature they need to distinguish the differences between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. The responsibility of
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
this distinction belongs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
realization of the what is true or not can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by the game.
For example
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
the truth a gift like
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "a" or "the" is left.
a the
most popular toy can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. On the other side, in case that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
can not act according to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
can
be punished
by not permitting to play his best play game.

The other coin of why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
should
be followed
is protection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In the early ages, it is normal to not understand who is trustful and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
person.
Moreover
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
intention
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'paedophile' is British English.
paedophile
; the significance of warning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
system.
For instance
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
talk strangers without any hesitation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can warn their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
seriously
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in balance, and ban to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
talk non-relative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, I am prone to apply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
on the behalf of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
making differences between true and false. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have been growing, they need to know what the right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
Additionally
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
system serves the protection
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? v. 35

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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