Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.33

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? v. 33
As children grow up to be the future of a nation and thereby the future of the world, we can safely project that their actions and choices can bring either good or bad changes to their personal lives and the society. While I strongly believe that it is crucial we help children differentiate between right and wrong at a very early stage of their life, but I don't advocate the idea of punishing them in the process. I will present my views in this essay. It is a widely observed theory that children simply try to mimic the actions of their parents or elders and in many cases, these actions might further develop into their own personal habits. For example, If parents go hunting for recreational purpose and hurt animals in the presence of their children, then there is a great chance that this might become their own habit in the future. There is a good chance that such kids might not be able to learn being compassionate to other living things. There is a study conducted by the Pediatric psychology association which states that children tend absorb the actions, behaviours and vocabulary from their environment. Hence it extremely crucial that parents and elders exhibit good behaviour in the presence of children. It is a well known fact that punishment has become an integral part of a child's upbringing. It usually involves hurting children either physically or verbally to ensure that children follow the orders of their parents or to avoid them from repeating mistakes. Punishment may or may not involve an explanation when a child commits a mistake. This might temporarily discourage the children from pursuing forbidden thoughts and actions, but may not help them once they grow up to become adults. According to a study conducted by Randall children's hospital in the USA, children who are punished at an early stage are negatively impacted by the verbal or physical abuse or hurting involved in it. Hence, it is safe to state that punishment is more detrimental than being resourceful in a child's upbringing. Hence it is important that we explain and educate our children on differentiating between right and wrong and the impact of making the right choice in their personal lives and the society.
As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
grow up to be the future of a nation and thereby the future of the world, we can
safely
project that their actions and choices can bring either
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to their personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and the society. While I
strongly
believe that it is crucial we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
differentiate between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early stage of their life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I don't advocate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of punishing them in the process. I will present my views in this essay.

It is a
widely
observed theory that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
simply
try to mimic the actions of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or elders and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases, these actions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
further
develop into their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
personal habits.
For example
, If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
go hunting for recreational purpose and hurt animals in the presence of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, then there is a great chance that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
become their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
habit in the future. There is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
chance that such kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not be able to learn
If 'learn' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to be".
being
compassionate to other living things. There is a study conducted by the Pediatric psychology association which states that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
tend absorb the actions,
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
and vocabulary from their environment.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
it
extremely
crucial that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and elders exhibit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in the presence of children.

It is a well known fact that punishment has become an integral part of a child's upbringing. It
usually
involves hurting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
either
physically
or
verbally
to ensure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
follow the orders of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or to avoid them from repeating mistakes. Punishment may or may not involve an explanation when a child commits a mistake. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
temporarily
discourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from pursuing forbidden thoughts and actions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them once they grow up to become adults. According to a study conducted by Randall children's hospital in the USA,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
are punished
at an early stage are
negatively
impacted by the verbal or physical abuse or hurting involved in it.
Hence
, it is safe to state that punishment is more detrimental than being resourceful in a child's upbringing.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
and educate our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
on differentiating between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and the impact of making the right choice in their personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and the society.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? v. 33

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
377 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts