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Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular. Discuss the impact of it on the environment and on people who lost their jobs because of it. v.7

Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular. Discuss the impact of it on the environment and on people who lost their jobs because of it. v. 7
The ubiquitous spread of online shopping has recently posed a large-scale threat to our society. While we could not deny the fact that this trend can reap insurmountable economic benefits, it is believed to have an overwhelming detrimental impact on the environment, not to mention the unemployment rate. To begin with, although online shopping has several so-called multifold advantages, its significant downsides to the environment cannot be excluded. With the spiralling of purchasing on the web, there exists a dire need of packaging materials to courier their goods. Therefore, a surge in plastic and paper usage for fulling such online orders is undoubtedly inevitable. This would negatively affect the green cover of the Earth with mounting wastes strewing all over, leading to several catastrophic environmental phenomena in the foreseeable future. Secondly, local shops which used to be the main supplies of goods, now facing a probability of shutting down their outlets. This is because the advent of online shopping enables customers to have infinite choices, which available in even inaccessible locations, whereas the traditional could only provide them limited products. Moreover, this super efficient shopping habit guaranteed that clienteles would own a similar quality product with lower price in comparison with local goods, leading to numerous salesmen being unemployed and having to fight to justify their relevance in this advanced technological era. From the arguments given, I firmly believe that online shopping has a damaging effect on our planet along with the financial aspects of several employees and employers. Given the odd nature of our contemporary affair, we will have to create an ad hoc committee to propose solutions to the problem
The ubiquitous spread of
online
shopping
has recently posed a large-scale threat to our society. While we could not deny the fact that this trend can reap insurmountable economic benefits, it
is believed
to have an overwhelming detrimental impact on the environment, not to mention the unemployment rate.

To
begin
with, although
online
shopping
has several
so
-called
multifold
advantages, its significant downsides to the environment cannot
be excluded
. With the
spiralling
of purchasing on the web, there exists a dire need of packaging materials to courier their
goods
.
Therefore
, a surge in plastic and paper usage for fulling such
online
orders is
undoubtedly
inevitable. This would
negatively
affect the green cover of the Earth with mounting wastes strewing all over, leading to several catastrophic environmental phenomena in the foreseeable future.

Secondly
, local shops which
used
to be the main supplies of
goods
,
now
facing a probability of shutting down their outlets. This is
because
the advent of
online
shopping
enables customers to have infinite choices, which available in even inaccessible locations, whereas the traditional could
only
provide them limited products.
Moreover
, this super efficient
shopping
habit guaranteed that clienteles would
own
a similar quality product with lower price
in comparison
with local
goods
, leading to numerous salesmen
being unemployed
and having to fight to justify their relevance in this advanced technological era.

From the arguments
given
, I
firmly
believe that
online
shopping
has a damaging effect on our planet along with the financial aspects of several employees and employers.
Given
the odd nature of our contemporary affair, we will
have to
create an ad hoc committee to propose solutions to the
problem
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
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IELTS essay Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular. Discuss the impact of it on the environment and on people who lost their jobs because of it. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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