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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? v.25

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? v. 25
Learning what is right and wrong is one of the most crucial life lessons that children obtain in the course of their childhood. However, although some people believe that providing them punishment is necessary for them to learn the gap between good and bad, I personally disagree that it can be a key role for children to know the differences between right and wrong. To begin with, punishment usually teaches children little. Children are to learn things more logically than adult people imagine, so punishment can just simply hurt children for nothing. Although I acknowledge that supporters of punishment argue that giving punishment is the easiest way to discipline children for adult people, I argue that rearing children take energy and time that would construct a healthy minded children. Moreover, punishment could just give fear to children for nothing. Physical punishment, for example, often provide unnecessary threat for them and they tend not to learn logically that can let them make the same mistakes over and over again. As for ideal punishments, there are some suggestions for adults to give children right instructions. Firstly, adults can be a role model and give them their own experience of failure connecting with the issue. Secondary, children can express themselves and tell adults why they acted like that. They may have done that with their good will, so explaining themselves is necessary to understand their behaviour. In short, not only giving punishment do scare children, it also doesn't teach children life lessons. Therefore, I disagree that punishment can teach children the differences between bad and good. In terms of a better way to give them harmless punishment, adults can be more understanding and generous for the mistakes they did to behave better next time.
Learning what is right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
is one of the most crucial life lessons that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
obtain in the course of their childhood.
However
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that providing them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is necessary for them to learn the gap between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
, I
personally
disagree that it can be a key role for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to know the differences between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
usually
teaches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are to learn things more
logically
than adult
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
imagine,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
simply
hurt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for nothing. Although I acknowledge that supporters of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
argue that giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is the easiest way to discipline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for adult
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, I argue that rearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
take energy and time that would construct a healthy minded
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "child"?
children
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
could
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
fear to
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children
for nothing. Physical
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punishment
,
for example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
provide unnecessary threat for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they tend not to learn
logically
that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the same mistakes over and over again.

As for ideal
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punishments
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
suggestions for
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adults
to
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give
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children
right instructions.
Firstly
,
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adults
can be a role model and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
them their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience of failure connecting with the issue. Secondary,
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children
can express themselves and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
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adults
why they acted like that. They may have done that with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
will,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
explaining themselves is necessary to understand their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.

In short, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
giving
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punishment
do scare
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children
, it
also
doesn't teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
life lessons.
Therefore
, I disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
can teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the differences between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. In terms of a better way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
them harmless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
can be more understanding and generous for the mistakes they did to behave better
next
time.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? v. 25

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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