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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? v.24

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? v. 24
One important stage in a child’s growth is certainly the development of a conscience, which is linked to the ability to tell right from wrong. This skill comes with time and good parenting, and my firm conviction is that punishment does not have much of a role to play in this. Therefore, I have to disagree almost entirely with the given statement. To some extent the question depends on the age of the child. To punish a very young child is both wrong and foolish, as an infant will not understand what is happening or why he or she is being punished. Once the age of reason is reached, however, a child can be rewarded for good behaviour and discouraged from bad. This kind but firm approach will achieve more than harsh punishments, which might entail many negative consequences unintended by the parents. To help a child learn the difference between right and wrong, teachers and parents should firstly provide good role modelling in their own behaviour. After that, if sanctions are needed, the punishment should not be of a physical nature, as that merely sends the message that it is acceptable for larger people to hit smaller ones – an outcome which may well result in the child starting to bully others. Nor should the punishment be in any way cruel. Rather, teachers and parents can use a variety of methods to discipline their young charges, such as detention, withdrawal of privileges, and time-out. Making the punishment fit the crime is useful notion, which would see children being made to pick up the rubbish they have dropped, clean up graffiti they have drawn, or apologise to someone they have hurt. In these ways, responsibility develops in the child, which leads to much better future behaviour than does the punishment.
One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
stage in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
growth is
certainly
the development of a conscience, which
is linked
to the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
right from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
parenting, and my firm conviction is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
does not have much of a role to play in this.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
disagree almost
entirely
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement.

To
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent the question depends on the age of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. To punish a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and foolish, as an infant will not understand what is happening or why he or she is
being punished
. Once the age of reason
is reached
,
however
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
can
be rewarded
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and discouraged from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
. This kind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
firm approach will achieve more than harsh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
, which might entail
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences unintended by the parents.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
learn the difference between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, teachers and parents should
firstly
provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
role modelling in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. After that, if sanctions
are needed
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
should not be of a physical nature, as that
merely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sends
the message that it is acceptable for larger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to hit smaller ones
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
an outcome which may well result in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
starting to bully others. Nor should the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
be in any way cruel.

Rather
, teachers and parents can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a variety of methods to discipline their young charges, such as detention, withdrawal of privileges, and time-out. Making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
fit the crime is useful notion, which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
children
being made
to pick up the rubbish they have dropped, clean up graffiti they have drawn, or
Possible spelling mistake. 'apologise' is British English.
apologise
to someone they have hurt. In these ways, responsibility develops in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
, which leads
Did you mean "too"?
to
much better future
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
than does the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? v. 24

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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