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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children? v.11

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children? v. 11
During childhood, kids must learn about right and wrong. One way of making them know the difference is to punish them when they do something wrong. In my opinion, I agree that punishments go a long way in shaping a child’s future and keep them in the right path. The fear of punishment will encourage students to stay away from wrongdoings and hence they will not get into any problems with their friends or teachers. This will make their school life free of issues and confrontations which will eventually make them perform well in school. For example, a kid punished for stealing a pencil from his classmate is unlikely to do that in future because of the embarrassment he faced the last time he did it. When these children grow up into adults they will always strive to do the right thing and they will stay away from the wrong path due to the lessons learned in their childhood. Admittedly, this will make them impart their values to their children also. On the whole, the society will benefit from people like these. Punishments do not necessarily have to be severe. For example, parents can cancel an outing or refuse to buy a birthday gift for their child. Teachers can give impositions or ask the kid to sit in the class during a physical training period. In conclusion, children ought to know what is right and what is wrong. Parents and teachers can punish them in order for the children to correct their behaviour. This would build a better society of people who do only right things.
During childhood, kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
. One way of making them know the difference is to punish them when they do something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that punishments go a long way in shaping a child’s future and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
path.

The fear of punishment will encourage students to stay away from wrongdoings and
hence
they will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into any problems with their friends or teachers. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their school life free of issues and confrontations which will
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them perform well in school.
For example
, a kid punished for stealing a pencil from his classmate is unlikely to do that in future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the embarrassment he faced the last time he did it. When these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
grow up into adults they will always strive to do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
thing and
they will stay away from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
path due to the lessons learned in their childhood.
Admittedly
, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them impart their values to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
also
.
On the whole
, the society will benefit from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like these.

Punishments do not
necessarily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be severe.
For example
, parents can cancel an outing or refuse to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a birthday gift for their child. Teachers can give impositions or ask the kid to sit in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
during a physical training period.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
ought to know what is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
and what is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
. Parents and teachers can punish them in order for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to correct their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. This would build a better society of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
things.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children? v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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