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It is important for all towns and cities to have large public spaces such as squares and parks. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.2

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public spaces such as squares and parks. v. 2
It is true that large public areas such as squares play a crucial role in all cities. While I believe that this may bring certain benefits, I would argue that it is unnecessary for urban areas to have these spaces. On the one hand, there are certain reasons why the metropolis should build public zones. Firstly, city dwellers reap the benefit of the health. Having open spaces in the metropolis is encouraging residents to engage in extracurricular and recreational activities outdoor, which can help people keep fit and healthy. It is apparent that a park is an ideal place for people to do exercise with others, as a result, it might prevent them from potential health risks such as obesity or cardiovascular diseases. Secondly, public areas may boost the development tourism sector because of their attractiveness and beauty. For example Times Square in New York City attracts millions of visitors to the United States annually, as a result, this can contribute to considerable incomes from tourism services. On the other hand, I believe that it is difficult for all cities can invest in public places. Due to the shortage of land in some urban areas would prevent building parks or squares. For example Ha Noi, which is a city of Viet Nam, has the limited number of public zones. This is because the large spaces would be allocated for road systems or accommodation to serves densely populated in these. Besides, Prolonged public spaces require a lot of cost such as repair, maintenance. It may be the culprit of burden financial for many poor countries, where should pour budget into education, health care services instead of public areas. In conclusion, it is necessary for towns to have large public spaces but it also depends on each circumstances, whether or not the towns can afford them.
It is true that large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
such as squares play a crucial role in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. While I believe that this may bring certain benefits, I would argue that it is unnecessary for urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to have these spaces.

On the one hand, there are certain reasons why the metropolis should build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
zones.
Firstly
, city dwellers reap the benefit of the health. Having open
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
in the metropolis is encouraging residents to engage in extracurricular and recreational activities outdoor, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
fit and healthy. It is apparent that a park is an ideal place for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to do exercise with others,
as a result
, it might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from potential health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
such as obesity or cardiovascular diseases.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
may boost the development tourism sector
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their attractiveness and beauty.
For example
Times Square in New York City attracts millions of visitors to the United States
annually
,
as a result
, this can contribute to considerable incomes from tourism services.

On the other hand
, I believe that it is difficult for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
can invest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
places. Due to the shortage of land in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
building parks or squares.
For example
Ha
Possible spelling mistake found.
Noi
, which is a city of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam, has the limited number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
zones. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
would
be allocated
for road systems or accommodation to serves
densely
populated in these.
Besides
, Prolonged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
cost such as repair, maintenance. It may be the culprit of burden financial for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
poor countries, where should pour budget into education, health care services
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
areas.

In conclusion
, it is necessary for towns to have large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
depends on each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "(circumstances)"?
circumstances
,
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
the towns can afford them.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay It is important for all towns and cities to have large public spaces such as squares and parks. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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