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It is generally observed that almost all high level jobs are done by men. Does it mean that the government should encourage a certain percentage of these jobs to be reserved for women? Do you agree or disagree with this proposition? v.1

It is generally observed that almost all high level jobs are done by men. Does it mean that the government should encourage a certain percentage of these jobs to be reserved for women? with this proposition? v. 1
In the present world men are doing high level jobs. Women also should be equally empowered to do the same level of high performing jobs. The possible reasons preventing the women from doing high performing jobs are lack of motivation, interest, stereotypical society, lack of support from the family and improper education. By considering all these scenarios, some nation's are trying to lure women into high paying jobs by providing incentives such as free travel, financial support for education, maternity leaves and giving reservation in some sectors exclusively for women. Also, it's the responsibility of the family and society to assist women to empower them. One more thing frightens women for the jobs is harassment at work places. As per the study by the university of Columbia companies where there are stringent laws against gender inequality and sexual harassment, there is more contribution of women in the success of the companies. It's a proven fact that nations whose women is educated and empowered are thriving more than their counterparts. If we provide the workplace a safe place for women then there will be more enrolments of female employees. The Government should also take precautionary measures such as making awareness in men about the gender equality, free education for girls at least until high level etc. Proper counselling should be provided for the poor women in the society about the opportunities they have and the efforts taken by the government to support women not only in jobs but also in all areas which makes women stand equal to men. The conclusion is the government must back the women in getting high paying jobs by giving reservations and also provide a safe work environment.
In the present world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
are doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
also
should be
equally
empowered to do the same level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
performing jobs.

The possible reasons preventing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
from doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
performing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are lack of motivation, interest, stereotypical society, lack of support from the family and improper education. By considering all these scenarios,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
The possessive apostrophe seems to be incorrect. Please remove the apostrophe if you want to use the plural form of 'nation'.
nation's
are trying to lure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
by providing incentives such as free travel, financial support for education, maternity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
and giving reservation in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sectors exclusively for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
Also
, it's the responsibility of the family and society to assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to empower them.

One more thing frightens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
is harassment at work places. As per the study by the university of Columbia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
where there are stringent laws against gender inequality and sexual harassment, there is more contribution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in the success of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. It's a proven fact that nations whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "am", "are", "aren".
is
educated and empowered are thriving more than their counterparts. If we provide the workplace a safe place for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
then there will be more
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolments' is British English.
enrolments
of female employees. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should
also
take precautionary measures such as making awareness in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
about the gender equality, free education for girls at least until
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
level etc. Proper counselling should
be provided
for the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in the society about the opportunities they have and the efforts taken by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in all areas which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
stand equal to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.

The conclusion is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
back the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
by giving reservations and
also
provide a safe work environment.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay It is generally observed that almost all high level jobs are done by men. Does it mean that the government should encourage a certain percentage of these jobs to be reserved for women? with this proposition? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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