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It is generally observed that almost all high level jobs are done by men. Does it mean that the government should encourage a certain percentage of these jobs to be observed for women? Do you agree or disagree with this proposition? v.2

It is generally observed that almost all high level jobs are done by men. Does it mean that the government should encourage a certain percentage of these jobs to be observed for women? with this proposition? v. 2
Owing to the statement, that the most of the high level jobs are done by men and the government should reserve some percentage of those jobs for women. I agree with this statement. Even in this modern world, in most of the country the discrimination between men and women exists. All over the world, we have only few women leaders, for instance; in the countries like The Germany, the chancellor was a woman, in The United Kingdom the ex prime minister was a woman. So only in few country's the women’s are in key role, similarly considering the company’s or an organisation, most of the jobs are in the hands of men. This is due to the many factors, such as; men grouping, the dominance of men in every field. In a country or in a company, the majority of the key positions are handled by men, this situation has to be changed and the rulers should implement several new policies to reserve some portion of jobs for women. In several countries the ruler's has already passed several laws regarding this. For instance, in India, the system passed a rule that ensures thirty three percent of the seats in the assembly for the women. Similarly, many rules need to be implemented in companies to ensure that the women’s are in the key position. The thinking that women should only be housewife has to be changed or wiped. Women are capable of doing anything, now days women’s are in every plot, especially they are in those roles which were regarded as most difficult jobs and only meant for men. For instance, in the current era we have female pilots, women engineers in the field of oil exploration, etc. In conclusion, most of the key position is handled by men, Moreover the discrimination between women and men should be wiped and government should pass several laws or policy favourable to this.
Owing to the statement, that the most of the high level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are done
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should reserve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
percentage of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

Even in this modern world, in most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
the discrimination between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
exists. All over the world, we have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
leaders,
for instance
; in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like The Germany, the chancellor was a woman, in The United Kingdom the ex prime minister was a woman.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
in few
Incorrect plural form; it does not need any apostrophe. Did you mean "countrys"?
country's
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
key
role,
similarly
considering the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s or an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are in the hands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
. This is due to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors, such as;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
grouping, the dominance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in every field.

In a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
or in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, the majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
key
positions
are handled
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
, this situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and the rulers should implement several new policies to reserve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
portion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. In several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
the ruler's has already passed several laws regarding this.
For instance
, in India, the system passed a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
that ensures
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
thirty three
percent of the seats in the assembly for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
Similarly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
need to
be implemented
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to ensure that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
are in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
key
position. The thinking that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
be housewife
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
or wiped.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
are capable of doing anything,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
are in every plot,
especially
they are in those roles which
were regarded
as most difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
meant for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
.
For instance
, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
era we have female pilots,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
engineers in the field of oil exploration, etc.

In conclusion
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
key
position
is handled
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
,
Moreover
the discrimination between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
should
be wiped
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should pass several laws or policy
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
to this.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay It is generally observed that almost all high level jobs are done by men. Does it mean that the government should encourage a certain percentage of these jobs to be observed for women? with this proposition? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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