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It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.5

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v. 5
It is true that not all people are born with a gift. Sometimes, God gives us an opportunity to make our own talent. Before a legendary basketball player was born, he has been just a student who is practicing basketball on the school's court. For example, Michael Jordan, he was once a loser and make a lot of bruises, wounds and mistakes. All the negative comments that people throw at him, he makes this as an inspiration to succeed. Now, he was one of the best basketball player of his generation. Another example is Lady Gaga. She was born in a musical family. At a very young age, she started to play piano and bit by bit, she became good at it and improved to the next level which is writing songs. Despite of this, she was bullied at school because according to other people, "she looks like a slut". At the age of 16 years old, Lady Gaga was raped and had a depression for a long time. Slowly, she's becoming famous because people now recognize her talent, but she's not happy so she started to say no to advertisements or commercials she doesn't like. By this, she becomes a better version of herself and overcame her depression as well. These two amazing persons are one of the examples of people born with a gift and people born without the skill. Talent can be learned, even though you are born with it and you didn't do anything to improve it, it is useless. We are creating our own future in life, not what other people want from us.
It is true that not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are born
with a gift.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, God gives us an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
talent.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
a legendary basketball player
was born
, he has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a student who is practicing basketball on the school's court.
For example
, Michael Jordan, he was once a loser and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
bruises, wounds and mistakes. All the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
comments that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
throw at him, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
this as an inspiration to succeed.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, he was one of the best basketball player of his generation.

Another example is Lady Gaga. She
was born
in a musical family. At a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age, she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to play piano and bit by bit, she became
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
to the
next
level which is writing songs.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
this, she
was bullied
at school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
according to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
she looks like a slut
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. At the age of 16 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, Lady Gaga
was raped
and had a depression for a long time.
Slowly
, she's becoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
recognize her talent,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
she's not happy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to say no to advertisements or commercials she doesn't like. By this, she becomes a better version of herself and overcame her depression
as well
.

These two amazing persons are one of the examples of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
born with a gift and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
born without the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
. Talent can
be learned
,
even though
you
are born
with it and you didn't do anything to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
it, it is useless. We are creating our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
future in life, not what other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want from us.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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