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It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.6

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v. 6
It is true that not all people are born with a gift. Sometimes, God gives us an opportunity to make our own talent. According to my view, I think that all the people were born with their hidden qualities. The only thing is that he/she has to show that value to the people. Every sportsman and every musician were full of their quality at the time of their birth. They only develop their skills and they become famous. If we talk about sportsman Mr. MS Dhoni, who was him. He was interested in cricket in his childhood. He started playing cricket at the age of 9 and after that he becomes famous in the worldwide. He was taught to become a business man, but he was not ready for that because his interest was in his hidden quality. So this is highly agreed that everyone took place here with hidden gift. As per the other view, the education is only for their future. Everyone will not take an interest in the same activity. Suppose if you are teaching music to every, in the counting of 100 students there might be some players who will not be interested in music, some will be artists. So this is not necessary that all the students will hear your lecture. They will only listen their favourite topic and just ignore the other one. So, according to my opinion qualities are at birth time in the people. We can only show them the right path that how they can show that worth to the other audience. For example, we can only tell a musician that how to sing and what techniques he/she should follow we cannot sing at his/her side.
It is true that not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are born
with a gift.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, God gives us an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
talent.

According to my view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were born
with their hidden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
thing is that he/she
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that value to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Every sportsman and every musician were full of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
at the time of their birth. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
develop their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and they become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
.

If we talk about sportsman Mr. MS
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dhoni
, who was him. He
was interested
in cricket in his childhood. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
playing cricket at the age of 9 and after that he becomes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
in the worldwide.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
He
was taught
to become a business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he was not ready for that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
his interest was in his hidden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
this is
highly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that everyone took place here with hidden gift.

As per the other view, the education is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
for their future. Everyone will not take an interest in the same activity.

Suppose if you are teaching music to every, in the counting of 100 students there might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
players who will not
be interested
in music,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
will be artists.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
this is not necessary that all the students will hear your lecture. They will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
listen their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
topic and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the other one.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, according to my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
are at birth time in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. We can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
them the right path that how they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that worth to the other audience.
For example
, we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
a musician that how to sing and what techniques he/she should follow we cannot sing at his/her side.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v. 6

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
285 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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