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It is generally believed that education is of vital importance to the development of individuals and the well-being of societies. What should education consist of to fulfill both these functions? v.1

It is generally believed that education is of vital importance to the development of individuals and the well-being of societies. What should education consist of to fulfill both these functions? v. 1
A country’s development determines its education system. It is true that education is important not only to peoples’ lives but also the booming of a society. In order to achieve this goal, there are several elements which will be illustrated in this essay. Firstly, education providers have to offer the latest academic knowledge and employable skills that allow students to seek employment successfully. This is because the cut-throat commercial competition forces employers to recruit candidates with sound knowledge and multi-tasks skills. Particularly in developing countries, where a degree or working experiences cannot guarantee a job position in a big company. Since enterprises are generally not willing to allocate budgets to staff-training in most jobs, such as accounting, marketing and customers services. From the social perspective, education means how to preach the significance of social responsibilities and moral judgements. Firstly, local residents can learn the importance of environmental protection through the media or conventional means. For instance, instead of using cars, passengers should consider travel with public transport in order to control the carbon emissions. Secondly, imparting the ethical standards to the public can link to the social security. This has been proved by the case that an increasing number of teenagers are doing the community services to help the poor and the disadvantaged, which potentially reduce the crime rate. In conclusion, education is never about passing down the knowledge only, as more importantly, it should be involved with allowing people to learn the latest skills and information in junction with the sense of social responsibility and the code of ethics.
A country’s development determines its
education
system. It is true that
education
is
important
not
only
to peoples’
lives
but
also
the booming of a society. In order to achieve this goal, there are several elements which will
be illustrated
in this essay.

Firstly
,
education
providers
have to
offer the latest academic knowledge and employable
skills
that
allow
students to seek employment
successfully
. This is
because
the
cut
-throat commercial competition forces employers to recruit candidates with sound knowledge and multi-tasks
skills
.
Particularly
in
developing countries
, where a degree or working experiences cannot guarantee a job position in a
big
company
. Since enterprises are
generally
not willing to allocate budgets to staff-training in most jobs, such as accounting, marketing and customers services.

From the
social
perspective,
education
means how to preach the significance of
social
responsibilities and moral judgements.
Firstly
, local residents can learn the importance of environmental protection through the media or conventional means.
For instance
,
instead
of using cars, passengers should consider travel with public transport in order to control the carbon emissions.
Secondly
, imparting the ethical standards to the public can link to the
social
security. This has
been proved
by the case that an increasing number of
teenagers
are doing the community services to
help
the poor and the disadvantaged, which
potentially
reduce
the crime rate.

In conclusion
,
education
is never about passing down the knowledge
only
, as more
importantly
, it should
be involved
with allowing
people
to learn the latest
skills
and information in junction with the sense of
social
responsibility and the code of ethics.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay It is generally believed that education is of vital importance to the development of individuals and the well-being of societies. What should education consist of to fulfill both these functions? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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