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The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialize. To what extend do you agree or disagree with these statements? v.3

The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialize. with these statements? v. 3
The Internet has made the world smaller by helping people connect instantly where ever they live, but the same technological marvel has also been accused of making people addicted, forcing them to spend more time alone in front of it rather than being with their friends. This essay will argue why this technology will continue to benefit the human race while successfully negotiating negative aspects associated with it. Internet helps people to keep up their relationship even if they live continents apart. The speed and ease with which, it connects people using various modes including chat, audio and videos are the reasons behind this. Moreover, various social networking sites help people to regain their school and college day friends who once they thought was lost forever. For instance, it is being reported that, social network site like Facebook has helped almost 80% of its users to find many of their classmates through its data base which gives a clear indication of the critical role played by web on retaining relationships around the globe. On the other hand, this invention has been accused of making some people abstain from socializing due to their addiction with certain websites. Though, the number of people getting trapped like this is definitely a negligible minority their count was increasing in the initial stages of internet era, before the intervention of the concerned authority. Instances of many young people getting cheated by virtual friends that they befriend, while spending too much time on social sites without cross checking their identity have been a prime example of this. However, awareness program initiated by governments is really helping to bring down these kind of incidents to a large extend. This essay argued that the latest technological achievement which made our life so colourful with friends and relatives so close though stays so far, is here to stay with minor hiccups being dealt with successfully. And for the people, no matter which corner of this universe, they live temporarily or permanently, is very well aware of the fact that, it would be impossible for them to go back in time to live in an isolated era devoid of this all critical connectivity.
The Internet has made the world smaller by helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
connect
instantly
where ever they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the same technological marvel has
also
been accused
of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
addicted, forcing them to spend more time alone in front of it
rather
than being with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. This essay will argue why this technology will continue to benefit the human race while
successfully
negotiating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects associated with it.

Internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up their relationship even if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
continents apart. The speed and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
with which, it connects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using various modes including chat, audio and videos are the reasons behind this.
Moreover
, various social networking sites
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to regain their school and college day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
who once they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
was lost
forever.
For instance
, it is
being reported
that, social network site like Facebook has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
almost 80% of its users to find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of their classmates through its data base which gives a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
indication of the critical role played by web on retaining relationships around the globe.

On the other hand
, this invention has
been accused
of making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
abstain from socializing due to their addiction with certain websites. Though, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
getting trapped like this is definitely a negligible minority their count was increasing in the initial stages of internet era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the intervention of the concerned authority. Instances of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
getting cheated by virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
that they befriend, while spending too much time on social sites without
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
cross checking
their identity have been a prime example of this.
However
, awareness program initiated by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
is
really
helping to bring down
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of incidents to a large extend.

This essay argued that the latest technological achievement which made our life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Possible spelling mistake. 'colourful' is British English.
colourful
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and relatives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
close though stays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far, is here to stay with minor hiccups
being dealt
with
successfully
. And for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, no matter which corner of this universe, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
temporarily
or
permanently
, is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well aware of the fact that, it would be impossible for them to go back in time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in an isolated era devoid of this all critical connectivity.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialize. with these statements? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
363 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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