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International travel sometimes makes people prejudiced rather than broad minded. What may be the reasons for this? What can people do to improve their understanding of the countries they visit? v.2

International travel sometimes makes people prejudiced rather than broad minded. What may be the reasons for this? What can people do to improve their understanding of the countries they visit? v. 2
The communications between the diverse countries are more convenient than before. The globalization makes it easier for travellers to brand their eyes on other countries. However, due to the misunderstanding of exotic cultures, many visitors have a bias on the foreign countries they have visited. Then I will develop my views on why the prejudice make and how to improve the respect on exotic cultures. The first and the main reason might be the gap in languages. The most visitors may know little about the local languages, so it is hard for them to communicate with local people. This means the interaction between the guests and the hosts is limited. As a result, without the deep interaction between the exotic visitors and local people, the visitors can get the local culture on by their eyes. So the perceiving of the countries they visit is one-sided. The second reason is the travel purpose. Most people travel abroad may not for getting more information about the local cultures, but for fun. The local people who host tourism may just for earning money. So they would not communicate with the guests by heart, and the only thing they care about is money, not the interactions of different cultures. To solve the problem, we need the cooperation of all social powers. At first, the government should tell the local people pay more attention to the communication between various cultures, not just to increase economic. What is more, the media should play a role in introducing the exotic cultures for tourism. For the visitors, they should learn the languages in the countries which they want to go before they start the trip. To sum up, tourism will be more open-minded by analysing the reasons for this problem and then making the effective steps.
The communications between the diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are more convenient than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. The globalization
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easier for
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
to brand their eyes on other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
However
, due to the misunderstanding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
have a bias on the foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
they have visited. Then I will develop my views on why the prejudice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
and how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the respect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exotic
cultures.

The
first
and the main reason might be the gap in languages. The most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
may know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
languages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for them to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This means the interaction between the guests and the hosts
is limited
.
As a result
, without the deep interaction between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
on by their eyes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the perceiving of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
they visit is one-sided.

The second reason is the travel purpose. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travel abroad may not for getting more information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for fun. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who host tourism may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for earning money.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they would not communicate with the guests by heart, and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing they care about is money, not the interactions of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures.

To solve the problem, we need the cooperation of all social powers. At
first
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pay more attention to the communication between various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to increase economic.
What is more
, the media should play a role in introducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
for tourism. For the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
, they should learn the languages in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which they want to go
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the trip.

To sum up, tourism will be more open-minded by
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
the reasons for this problem and
Did you mean "than"?
then
making the effective steps.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay International travel sometimes makes people prejudiced rather than broad minded. What may be the reasons for this? What can people do to improve their understanding of the countries they visit? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
298 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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