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It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be. Give some reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought closer together. Include any relevant examples from your experience. v.2

It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be. Give some reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought closer together. Include any relevant examples from your experience. v. 2
Many people agree with the families are being farther than in the past. This change likely is happenig due to we live in a society more individualistic and because the work occupies a large time of our life. Nevertheless, some communities considered that it is relevant keep a strong bond with loved ones, which could exist if the people visit often psychologist and whether the government would create more holiday dedicate to this institution. Thus, I believe that in the current era is common don’t have a strong link with our parents or siblings, because in general we don’t find help in their when we have some problems or vice versa, and this cause a weak relationship. Also, the actual lifestyle tells us that our time only is foccused on the work. For example, when I worked as a journalist in a newspaper, many times I could not be present in important dates. Nevertheless, I think that we have a faint relationship with our loved ones give as a result, several psychological problems, for this reason is of vital importance that our contact with the family be healthy. In my opinion, the society should give leadership to health mental, due to this will allow sharing with our primary social group without rage. Besides, I believe that the State should incentive to have a strong unión, although national parties with this institution, which is the most important for the society accord the Constitution. In conclusion, it is widely accepted that families are farther than the last epoch. This situation is occuring for the rhythm of life in our current world. However, it’s relevant have a better contact with our dear ones, because as like as not they will be who are with us in our birth and in our funeral.
Many
people
agree
with the families are being farther than in the past. This
change
likely is
happenig
due to we
live
in a society more individualistic and
because
the work occupies a large time of our life.
Nevertheless
,
some
communities considered that it is relevant
keep
a strong bond with
loved
ones
, which could exist if the
people
visit
often
psychologist and whether the
government
would create more holiday dedicate to this institution.

Thus
, I believe that in the
current
era is common don’t have a strong link with our parents or siblings,
because
in general
we don’t find
help
in their when we have
some
problems or vice versa, and this cause a weak relationship.
Also
, the actual lifestyle
tells
us that our time
only
is
foccused
on the work.
For example
, when I worked as a journalist in a newspaper,
many
times I could not be present in
important
dates.

Nevertheless
, I
think
that we have a faint relationship with our
loved
ones
give
as a result
, several psychological problems,
for this reason
is of vital importance that our contact with the family be healthy. In my opinion, the society should give leadership to health mental, due to this will
allow
sharing with our primary social group without rage.
Besides
, I believe that the State should incentive to have a strong
unión
, although national parties with this institution, which is the most
important
for the society accord the Constitution.

In conclusion
, it is
widely
accepted
that families are farther than the last epoch. This situation is
occuring
for the rhythm of life in our
current
world.
However
, it’s relevant have a better contact with our dear
ones
,
because
as like as not they will be who are with us in our birth and in our funeral.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be. Give some reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought closer together. Include any relevant examples from your experience. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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