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Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.10

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. with this statement? v. 10
Fast and safe transportation and improved communication are two important things to development of a country. Thus when the question arises that most of people debated that government should focus on improving railway system in the country more than roads. I completely agree with this statement also I am going to discuss about what are the benefits of developing railway system. Firstly, the railway system is good for both citizens and traders, whereas it is more safety more than roads and highways. The numbers of road accidents and highway casualties in many countries are far higher than that of the trains casualties. For example, nowadays driving while being drunk is one of the leading causes of accidents in the world. If a driver plans on drinking, he should expect until the drinking effects disappear before he starts driving. Using by the train people can reduce that problem even though that much more prudent idea people safety. Secondly, using railway system people can save their valuable time on the road due to it is many times faster than of private vehicles and public buses, as well. Moreover the railroad system can reduce traffic congestion even can reduce air pollution. For instance, If people used roads to go countryside from Urban city that might be taking lots of time to go there also staying more than 1Hour in traffic it can be destroyed environment due to solid and liquid particles and certain gases that are suspended in the air. These particles and gases can come from car and trucks. Finally, those road accidents, air pollution problems are increasing rapidly and investing more money in the faster transportation system is more logical than investing in the older conveyor system. Railway will be a future transportation system, and investing more money on it that will be a better choice for the future. In conclusion, I believe that government should invest more money in faster and safety, transport method even railway system should be more developed.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Fast
and safe transportation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
communication are two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things to development of a country.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
when the question arises that most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
debated that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should focus on improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
in the country more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
also
I am going to
Did you mean simply "discuss what"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about what
are the benefits of developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
system.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for both citizens and traders, whereas it is more safety more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and highways. The numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
accidents and highway casualties in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries are far higher than that of the trains casualties.
For example
, nowadays driving while
being drunk
is one of the leading causes of accidents in the world. If a driver plans on drinking, he should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
until the drinking effects disappear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
driving. Using by the train
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
that problem
even though
that much more prudent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
safety.

Secondly
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can save their valuable time on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
due to it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times faster than of private vehicles and public buses,
as well
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
the railroad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
traffic congestion even can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
air pollution.
For instance
, If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
to go countryside from Urban city that might be taking lots of time to go there
also
staying more than 1Hour in traffic it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
environment due to solid and liquid particles and certain gases that
are suspended
in the air. These particles and gases can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from car and trucks.

Finally
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
accidents, air pollution problems are increasing
rapidly
and investing more money in the faster transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
is more logical than investing in the older conveyor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Railway
will be a future transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
, and investing more money on it that will be a better choice for the future.

In conclusion
, I believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should invest more money in faster and safety, transport method even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
should be more developed.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. with this statement? v. 10

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
331 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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