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28. 09. 2017 It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be. Give some reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought closer together. Include any relevant examples from your experience. v.1

28. 09. 2017 It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be. Give some reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought closer together. Include any relevant examples from your experience. v. 1
It is argued that advertising ensures high sales of a company of well-being products among customers while it has not had any real needs of society. I completely disaccord with that statement because advertising increases sales and also catches attention to customers where it has the right necessity among customers. To commence, advertising can play a significant role in the business organization by boosting up sales and promotions. Nowadays, people know every product by advertising, especially when they need it very much. However, social applications like Facebook, Twitter can inform people by showing different advertisements. Moreover, advertising increases the promotions so that the selling rate of products and needs will improve. A recent study by America concluded that advertising not only increases sales but also enlarges the proper needs among customers. It also added that advertising increases their productivity by selling. On the flip side, the advertisement can catch attention among consumers. In the age of 5th business industrialization, the usefulness of advertisements is not described in a single sentence. Most of the time, the advertisement company uses celebrities and famous models to show better utilities of that product. As a result, advertising increases people’s minds and trust by showing these kinds of celebrities. Sometimes, the advertising company explains the real needs of the product which helps the customer to know about it more. For instance, many developing countries like Bangladesh, which creates more concentration on products among customers by advertising. I recapitulate that the role of advertising can't be ignored due to people's attention and higher sales.
It
is argued
that advertising ensures high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
of well-being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
while it has not had any real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of society. I completely
Possible spelling mistake found.
disaccord
with that statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
and
also
catches attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
where it has the right necessity among customers.

To commence, advertising can play a significant role in the business organization by boosting up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
and promotions. Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
know every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
by advertising,
especially
when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much.
However
, social applications like Facebook, Twitter can inform
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
by showing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
.
Moreover
, advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increases
the promotions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the selling rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
. A recent study by America concluded that advertising not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
enlarges the proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
. It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
that advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increases
their productivity by selling.

On the flip side, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
can catch attention among consumers. In the age of 5th business industrialization, the usefulness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
in a single sentence. Most of the time, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
celebrities and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
models to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
better utilities of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
As a result
, advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increases
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s minds and trust by showing these kinds of celebrities.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, the advertising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
to know about it more.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
like Bangladesh, which creates more concentration on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
by advertising.

I recapitulate that the role of advertising can't be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's attention and higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 28. 09. 2017 It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be. Give some reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought closer together. Include any relevant examples from your experience. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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