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It is generally accepted that exercise is good for children and teenagers. Therefore, physical education and sport should be compulsory for all students in all schools. What do you think? v.8

It is generally accepted that exercise is good for children and teenagers. Therefore, physical education and sport should be compulsory for all students in all schools. What do you think? v. 8
Physical exercise is of great importance to children and teenagers, there's no denying it. Which has made many eager to include sports as a part of the students' education in all schools. However, some would disagree with such a suggestion, believing that schools should focus more on the academic subjects. This makes us question whether physical activity should be obligatory in schools or not? Some people believe that physical activity is a waste of time. They think that this time is better invested in academic studies that would help students build a future for themselves. Another reason for such a belief arises from the fact that the market demand for labour nowadays, require highly educated students rather than athletes. Which makes the parents more concerned with their children educational performance, forgetting about sports and exercise. I think that physical education should be a part of the students' curriculum. With the rising concerns of health problems among teenagers, especially obesity, the need for movement arise. Practice and exercise help maintain a good and healthy body, if it were to be done for a number of hours a week, it would improve the students' overall health. Furthermore, sports don't just offer fitness benefits, they offer so much more. Modern research has demonstrated that frequent activity helps maintain a clear mind, lowers stress and enhances one's state and mood. But that's not it, part of the reason why physical education should be encouraged is to help students reach their full potential. For instance, some students excel academically or artistically while others excel physically. It would be unfair if these students' capabilities were ignored instead of being improved and developed to help them achieve their goals and establish a future for themselves in the sports field. In conclusion, Exercise is a necessity. It helps individuals become better and improves their life. Therefore, the proper measures should be taken to ensure that at least students get to practice on a weekly basis, in order to guarantee their well being.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Physical
exercise is of great importance to children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, there's no denying it. Which has made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
eager to include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
as a part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students'
education in all schools.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
would disagree with such a suggestion, believing that schools should focus more on the academic subjects. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us question whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity should be obligatory in schools or not?

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity is a waste of time. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this time is better invested in academic studies that would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
build a future for themselves. Another reason for such a belief arises from the fact that the market demand for
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
nowadays, require
highly
educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
rather
than athletes. Which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the parents more concerned with their children educational performance, forgetting about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and exercise.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
education should be a part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students'
curriculum. With the rising concerns of health problems among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
,
especially
obesity, the need for movement arise. Practice and exercise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
maintain a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and healthy body, if it were to
be done
for a number of hours a week, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students'
overall
health.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
offer fitness benefits, they offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much more. Modern research has demonstrated that frequent activity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
maintain a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
mind, lowers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and enhances one's state and mood.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
that's not it, part of the reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
education should
be encouraged
is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
reach their full potential.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
excel
academically
or
artistically
while others excel
physically
. It would be unfair if these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students'
capabilities were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
instead
of being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
and developed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them achieve their goals and establish a future for themselves in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
field.

In conclusion
, Exercise is a necessity. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
individuals become better and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their life.
Therefore
, the proper measures should
be taken
to ensure that at least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to practice on a weekly basis, in order to guarantee their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is generally accepted that exercise is good for children and teenagers. Therefore, physical education and sport should be compulsory for all students in all schools. What do you think? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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