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Do you agree or disagree: Kids should play more and study more instead of spending time on household chores? v.1

: Kids should play more and study more instead of spending time on household chores? v. 1
Over the past half-century, there has been an exponential rise in the use of food chemicals in the food industry. While some believe that these substances cause harmful effects to human lives, others claim that there are certain advantages overshadowing the risks. This essay discusses how the cons of food chemicals overweigh the pros and will arrive at a conclusion. Food chemicals and preservatives are added in food for multiple reasons. Firstly, it improves the overall appearance of the product and even makes it taste better, thereby encouraging people to purchase food that may not otherwise look tempting to eat. This practice boosts commercial activity, ultimately causing a massive increase in their sales. These methods can be seen in multi-national companies such as Pepsi, which have demonstrated huge growth in their recent yearly sales. On the contrary, these chemicals and preservatives have been reported to cause multiple diseases, the most hazardous one being cancer. Multiple case reports indicate that the long-term use of chemical substances on food can lead to stomach cancer, breast cancer, and even mouth cancer. In addition, medical authorities have also reported that they have found children to be more hyperactive and temperamental due to the chronic use of food additives. By limiting their usage, these diseases can be prevented. In conclusion, although certain advantages of food chemicals do exist, these are mainly beneficial to companies and not to their customers. I firmly believe that the use of preservatives and chemicals in food products causes numerous health hazards and the government should implement laws to restrict their use.
Over the past half-century, there has been an exponential rise in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
industry. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that these substances cause harmful effects to human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, others claim that there are certain advantages overshadowing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
. This essay discusses how the cons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweigh
the pros and will arrive at a conclusion.

Food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
and preservatives are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for multiple reasons.
Firstly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the
overall
appearance of the product and even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it taste better, thereby encouraging
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
that may not
otherwise
look tempting to eat. This practice boosts commercial activity,
ultimately
causing a massive increase in their sales. These methods can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in multi-national
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
such as Pepsi, which have demonstrated huge growth in their recent yearly sales.

On the contrary
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
and preservatives have
been reported
to cause multiple diseases, the most hazardous one being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cancer
. Multiple case reports indicate that the long-term
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemical
substances on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can lead to stomach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cancer
, breast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cancer
, and even mouth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cancer
.
In addition
, medical authorities have
also
reported that they have found children to be more hyperactive and temperamental due to the chronic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
additives. By limiting their usage, these diseases can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
.

In conclusion
, although certain advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
do exist, these are
mainly
beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and not to their customers. I
firmly
believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of preservatives and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
products causes numerous health hazards and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should implement laws to restrict their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay : Kids should play more and study more instead of spending time on household chores? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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