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In several countries around the world students take a year off between high school and university in order to travel, work or volunteer. However, in most countries students go straight to university after graduating. Discuss both approaches and give your opinion about which is better. v.1

In several countries around the world students take a year off between high school and university in order to travel, work or volunteer. However, in most countries students go straight to university after graduating. v. 1
What should students all over the world do between high school and university is a topic of debate. While some people are of the opinion that there are seemingly valid reasons to go straight to university, I think that more benefits are brought by taking a gap year. There is a common belief that students need to head straight to university after the high school. To begin, young people get a few years of study. By doing this, the sooner they get started, the sooner they will finish and dedicate their skills to practice. In addition, they are in study mode. Students have been in the momentum of studying for 12+ years – they know the exams and assignments well. Therefore, they should study straight away, stay focused on their long-term goals. On the other hand, I would argue that travelling, working or volunteering for a year before starting university is a far better way to be mature. One major reason for this is that travelling broadens the mind of people. Such trips are not only fun, but also helps them to discover their real passion. For example, students who travel to different places get a chance to socialise with different types of people and cultures, engage in volunteering and this may improve their knowledge and experience. Furthermore, working before starting university reduces the financial burden of higher education to an extent. If young people earn some money when they work before joining the university, this money can be used to pay their university fees.
What should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
all over the world do between high school and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is a topic of debate. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the opinion that there are
seemingly
valid reasons to go straight to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that more benefits
are brought
by taking a gap year.

There is a common belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need to head straight to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
after the high school. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a few years of study. By doing this, the sooner they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
, the sooner they will finish and dedicate their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to practice.
In addition
, they are in study mode.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
have been in the momentum of studying for 12+ years
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
they know the exams and assignments well.
Therefore
, they should study straight away, stay focused on their long-term goals.

On the other hand
, I would argue that travelling, working or volunteering for a year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
starting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is a far better way to be mature. One major reason for this is that travelling broadens the mind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Such trips are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
fun,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to discover their real passion.
For example
,
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students
who travel to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and cultures, engage in volunteering and this may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their knowledge and experience.
Furthermore
, working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
starting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the financial burden of higher education to an extent. If young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money when they work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
joining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, this money can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to pay their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
fees.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In several countries around the world students take a year off between high school and university in order to travel, work or volunteer. However, in most countries students go straight to university after graduating. v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
255 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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