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It is common these days to see celebrities advertising different products. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

It is common these days to see celebrities advertising different products. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
In this day and age, the advertising industry is developing drastically and to achieve it, numerous advertising methods have been applied in which endorsement is one of the most effective. Therefore, it is popular nowadays to see famous people contributing to the promotion of various new items. Like two sides of the same coin, this procedure of marketing entails both upsides and downsides; however, from my perspective, it brings more drawbacks than benefits. It cannot be denied that endorsement is the highly potential way for businesses to promote their products widely which is beneficial for not only the businesses that it can help them gain profit from sales, but also the customers that the information of the products can reach them more quickly and conveniently, and the products which are promoted through celebrities often seem to be more reliable for consumers. Moreover, even those famous people who cooperate with companies also earn profits from their advertisement. Having said that, there are a lot more disadvantages of endorsement requiring serious recognition, the most considerable of which is that the quality of the information can reduce remarkably for the customers as many famous people gradually receive multiple contracts without careful inquiry and verification. Then, if those products do not have quality assurance, but widespread promotion, it can lead to numerous unpredictable consequences later for both consumers and celebrities who have carelessly advertise them as the users can not only waste money but also harm themselves, and the celebrities can destroy their reputation instantly when the incidents are exposed. In conclusion, the endorsement can be advantageous, yet thorough consideration should be taken in order to not lead to undesirable outcomes.
In this day and age, the advertising industry is developing
drastically
and to achieve it, numerous advertising methods have
been applied
in which
endorsement
is one of the most effective.
Therefore
, it is popular nowadays to
see
famous
people
contributing to the promotion of various new items. Like two sides of the same coin, this procedure of marketing entails both upsides and downsides;
however
, from my perspective, it brings more drawbacks than benefits.

It cannot
be denied
that
endorsement
is the
highly
potential way for businesses to promote their
products
widely
which is beneficial for not
only
the businesses that it can
help
them gain profit from sales,
but
also
the customers that the information of the
products
can reach them more
quickly
and
conveniently
, and the
products
which
are promoted
through celebrities
often
seem to be more reliable for consumers.
Moreover
, even those
famous
people
who cooperate with
companies
also
earn profits from their advertisement.

Having said that, there are a lot more disadvantages of
endorsement
requiring serious recognition, the most considerable of which is that the quality of the information can
reduce
remarkably
for the customers as
many
famous
people
gradually
receive multiple contracts without careful inquiry and verification. Then, if those
products
do not have quality assurance,
but
widespread promotion, it can lead to numerous unpredictable consequences later for both consumers and celebrities who have
carelessly
advertise
them as the users can not
only
waste money
but
also
harm themselves, and the celebrities can
destroy
their reputation
instantly
when the incidents
are exposed
.

In conclusion
, the
endorsement
can be advantageous,
yet
thorough consideration should
be taken
in order to not lead to undesirable outcomes.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay It is common these days to see celebrities advertising different products. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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