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These days, the wealthy in society often throw away perfectly good products in order to replace them with more up-to-date models. Do the environmental disadvantages of this development outweigh he economic advantages? v.1

These days, the wealthy in society often throw away perfectly good products in order to replace them with more up-to-date models. Do the environmental disadvantages of this development outweigh he economic advantages? v. 1
Nowadays, people have more financial supplement are completely trying to dispose of products with a view to purchasing more modern ones. In the following essay, I intend to highlight both negative and positive sites of this view and provide with my personal judgement. There are enough reasons why this development threats the nature. Firstly, the number of rubbish, which includes products rotting during long period or never, increases since people waste more than the past. For example, batteries that consist of electrochemical subsequence never corrupt and damage the earth while years. Therefore, the poor thinks that we should stop throwing products away everywhere and the rich ought to learn to use productively them while poor people value their each product. However, this advance positively contributes to economy. For instance, as science improves dramatically, devices of IT (Information technology) change immediately and become more up-to-the minute which means they perform more tasks compared to the previous ones. Also, the quantity of manufacturing grows as well as demands on the new products rocket, which shows economical growth. Additionally, manufacturers try to make products, utilizing less goods despite high-level rivalry. So, intending more up-to-date products is economically merit and if rich people, buying newer things, invest more, then the economy will bloom. To conclude, I should state that wanting and buying more modern items request more money and these willings always support science that creates smarter, simply-used things helping economy to develop. Therefore, I think that providing people try to get rid of products so as to get more new-age models, it will only contribute to the advance of the recession.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more financial supplement are completely trying to dispose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
with a view to purchasing more modern ones. In the following essay, I intend to highlight both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sites of this view and provide with my personal judgement.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
reasons why this development threats the nature.
Firstly
, the number of rubbish, which includes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
rotting during long period or never, increases since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
waste more than the past.
For example
, batteries that consist of electrochemical subsequence never corrupt and damage the earth while years.
Therefore
, the poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
throwing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
away everywhere and the rich ought to learn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
productively
them while poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
value their each product.

However
, this advance
positively
contributes to economy.
For instance
, as science
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
dramatically
, devices of IT (Information technology)
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
immediately and become more
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
up-to-the minute
which means they perform more tasks compared to the previous ones.
Also
, the quantity of manufacturing grows
as well
as demands on the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
rocket, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
growth.
Additionally
, manufacturers try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, utilizing
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun goods is countable.
less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
despite high-level rivalry.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, intending more up-to-date
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is
economically
Consider using a past participle here: "merited".
merit
and if rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, buying newer things, invest more, then the economy will bloom.

To conclude
, I should state that wanting and buying more modern items request more money and these
Possible spelling mistake found.
willings
always support science that creates smarter,
simply
-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
things helping economy to develop.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more new-age models, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
contribute to the advance of the recession.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay These days, the wealthy in society often throw away perfectly good products in order to replace them with more up-to-date models. Do the environmental disadvantages of this development outweigh he economic advantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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