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It is better for people to be unemployed than people to be employed but they do not enjoy. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.4

It is better for people to be unemployed than people to be employed but they do not enjoy. v. 4
Many people hold the belief that joblessness is more beneficial than an unsatisfying job. From my perspective, no matter how advantageous unemployment can be, I disagree with this view for several reasons. It is an undeniable fact that being unemployed can bring benefits to people in some ways. while taking an unexpected career can shape negative attitude towards work and thus decrease job productivity, being out of employment avoids stress from workplace and offers more time for the unemployed to apply for what they enjoy. Nevertheless, after a long time maintaining this state, they will fall behind peers and be put at a disadvantage in the competitive job market. Having an unexpected job, however, contrary to common belief, can do more good than harm. In fact, this work provide a stable supply of income which reduce financial pressure put on people. this helps them afford the basic necessities of their lives. In addition to such benefits, a higher chance of their successfully applying for expected career will be created. Graduates from the University of Pedagogy, for instance, should try tutoring at home when unemployed. Thanks to this, they will be able to earn for a living and gain more experience which offer them opporturnities to teach in a school in the future. To conclude, while unemployment can prevent people from workplace pressure, I strongly believe that this effect is twofold and applying for a job, although undesirable, is better because it can create a stable financial background before starting a new career.
Many
people
hold the belief that joblessness is more beneficial than an unsatisfying
job
. From my perspective, no matter how advantageous unemployment can be, I disagree with this view for several reasons.

It is an undeniable fact that
being unemployed
can bring benefits to
people
in
some
ways.
while
taking an unexpected career can shape
negative
attitude towards work and
thus
decrease
job
productivity, being out of employment avoids
stress
from workplace and offers more time for the unemployed to apply for what they enjoy.
Nevertheless
, after a long time maintaining this state, they will fall behind peers and
be put
at a disadvantage in the competitive
job
market.

Having an unexpected
job
,
however
, contrary to common belief, can do more
good
than harm. In fact, this work provide a stable supply of income which
reduce
financial pressure put on
people
.
this
helps
them afford the
basic necessities
of their
lives
.
In addition
to such benefits, a higher chance of their
successfully
applying for
expected
career will
be created
. Graduates from the University of Pedagogy,
for instance
, should try tutoring at home when unemployed. Thanks to this, they will be able to earn for a living and gain more experience which offer them
opporturnities
to teach in a school in the future.

To conclude
, while unemployment can
prevent
people
from workplace pressure, I
strongly
believe that this effect is twofold and applying for a
job
, although undesirable, is better
because
it can create a stable financial background
before
starting a new career.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is better for people to be unemployed than people to be employed but they do not enjoy. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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