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It is better for people to be unemployed than people to be employed but they do not enjoy. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

It is better for people to be unemployed than people to be employed but they do not enjoy. v. 3
Generally speaking, satisfaction at work, in terms of enjoyment, can be subjective. It deals with various emotions related to physical and mental well being. Hence, some people argue that it is better to be unemployed than otherwise. However, I disagree with the statement as I see even greater issues related to joblessness. In this essay, I shall explain the reasons for my disagreement and provide a few examples as required. To begin with, employment rate is one of the key pillars of the modern economy, and it dovetails into many essential sectors linked to systems that support humans. As the number of people leaving the workforce raises, citing reasons related to happiness, the overall support system dilutes. Therefore, it is crucial for concerned bodies to address any such issues rather than allowing people to withdraw from jobs. In Finland, for example, the government collects anonymous feedback from its citizens so that it can address any such concerns. Next, on the other hand, it is fair to recommend people to quit if they are unhappy with their gigs. As everything at profession funnels down to the overall wellbeing rather than just a monetary benefit. Having said, that it is relatively harder to obtain financial independence than mental pleasure. Henceforth, it should be dealt with using other factors than just encouraging to quit. For instance, Singapore spends about ten percentage of their GDP to reskill their citizens so that they can continue to work in the field of their interest. In conclusion, as explained above, it is simply not easy to allow people to be unemployed rather than addressing the core issues that lead to this situation. Hence, I disagree with the given statement, and recommend a completely different approach to boost happiness at work.
Generally
speaking, satisfaction at work, in terms of enjoyment, can be subjective. It deals with various emotions related to physical and mental
well being
.
Hence
,
some
people
argue that it is better to
be unemployed
than
otherwise
.
However
, I disagree with the statement as I
see
even greater issues related to joblessness. In this essay, I shall
explain
the reasons for my disagreement and provide a few examples as required.

To
begin
with, employment rate is one of the key pillars of the modern economy, and it dovetails into
many
essential sectors linked to systems that support humans. As the number of
people
leaving the workforce raises, citing reasons related to happiness, the
overall
support system dilutes.
Therefore
, it is crucial for concerned bodies to address any such issues
rather
than allowing
people
to withdraw from jobs. In Finland,
for example
, the
government
collects anonymous feedback from its citizens
so
that it can address any such concerns.

Next
,
on the other hand
, it is
fair
to recommend
people
to quit if they are unhappy with their gigs.
As
everything at profession funnels down to the
overall
wellbeing
rather
than
just
a monetary benefit. Having said, that it is
relatively
harder to obtain financial independence than mental pleasure. Henceforth, it should
be dealt
with using other factors than
just
encouraging to quit.
For instance
, Singapore spends about ten percentage of their GDP to
reskill
their citizens
so
that they can continue to work in the field of their interest.

In conclusion
, as
explained
above, it is
simply
not easy to
allow
people
to
be unemployed
rather
than addressing the core issues that lead to this situation.
Hence
, I disagree with the
given
statement, and recommend a completely
different
approach to boost happiness at work.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is better for people to be unemployed than people to be employed but they do not enjoy. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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