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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? TV, newspaper, magazine and other media pay too much attention to the personal lives of celebrities. v.733

TV, newspaper, magazine and other media pay too much attention to the personal lives of celebrities. v. 733
Famous people are the epitome of success for many thanks to the publicity they receive from social media and are, more often than not, imitated by those who have an insatiable desire for fame. Although they are widely adored by all people, not all people are influenced by them equally. Bearing this fact in mind a question that is a matter of debate a controversial one is whether social media care about well-known people or not. Agreement is yet to be reached on this issue; however, I am personally on the belief that pay attention to the personal life of celebrities by media will lead to deleterious effects in other people' s life especially ordinary ones. In the following paragraph, I will pinpoint the most outstanding reasons. One compelling reason, lending credence to the stance taken above is that in today' s hectic world, televisions or other means of communication just think about make a profit and gain a hoard of money. In fact, they bend over backwards to show off in public and glamorized with famous people. Scientifically speaking, although it will be profitable for media, it cause many serious problems for people especially young children. For example, for many people celebrities serve as an arbiters taste morality and public opinion. Indeed, well known people do not make a secret of alcohol or drug abuse and so forth which can provide fertile ground for people to mimic immoral behaviors. Actually, youngsters are more likely to listen to the words of celebrities rather than their own parents because they are not mature enough and might think that these behaviors are acceptable. Delving further into the issue reveal that different kinds of disorders like short term relationship and drugs or alcohol are leading celebrities. It means that when they present on the screen in fact, they widespread immorality that can impact children directly through media. A noteworthy refreshingly intelligible statistic revealed by recent social research conducted in our country show that vast majorities of people especially youth are at the risk of social disorders due the fact that media do not respect toward the age of people. Another reason that is equally important if not more is that if media continuously pay too much attention to the famous people it will jeopardize people' s health. Broadly speaking, sometimes celebrities present on screen or glamorized advertise in a hasty manner such as smoking and it can be example for supporters everywhere that it is acceptable to smoke. To put it in other word, destructive habit by well-known people not only can destroy mental and physical health but also can contribute to the low self-esteem. However, what I alluded to above cannot be overgeneralized to all contexts. Alongside with the innumerable benefits it has, indisputably, media are the best means of communication which they can convey majorities of massages about different subjects to the public but hardly can they transmit those massage without glamorized advertising by celebrities. Nevertheless it does not make those preceding benefits pale. To wrap it up, media care about well-known people and their personal life for different purposes which can bring some consequences. Contemplating all the aforementioned reason one soon realize that life of many celebrities are not ideal and use their characters in media can put people' s life especially youngsters into danger due to many social disorders. In addition, media advertise different products in a hasty manner such as smoking that can threat people' s health and destroy their mental and physical health.
Famous
people
are the epitome of success for
many
thanks to the publicity they receive from
social
media
and are, more
often
than not, imitated by those who have an insatiable desire for fame. Although they are
widely
adored by all
people
, not all
people
are influenced
by them
equally
. Bearing this
fact
in mind a question
that is
a matter of debate a controversial one is whether
social
media
care about well-known
people
or not. Agreement is
yet
to
be reached
on this issue;
however
, I am
personally
on the belief that pay attention to the personal
life
of
celebrities
by
media
will lead to deleterious effects in other
people&
#039; s
life
especially
ordinary ones. In the following paragraph, I will pinpoint the most outstanding reasons.

One compelling reason, lending credence to the stance taken above is that in
today&
#039; s hectic world, televisions or other means of communication
just
think
about
make
a profit and gain a hoard of money. In
fact
, they bend over backwards to
show
off in public and glamorized with
famous
people
.
Scientifically
speaking, although it will be profitable for
media
, it
cause
many
serious problems for
people
especially
young children.
For example
, for
many
people
celebrities
serve as an arbiters taste morality and public opinion.
Indeed
, well known
people
do not
make
a secret of alcohol or drug abuse and
so
forth which can provide fertile ground for
people
to mimic immoral behaviors. Actually, youngsters are more likely to listen to the words of
celebrities
rather
than their
own
parents
because
they are not mature
enough
and might
think
that these behaviors are acceptable. Delving
further
into the issue reveal that
different
kinds of disorders like short term relationship and drugs or alcohol are leading
celebrities
. It means that when they present on the screen in
fact
, they widespread immorality that can impact children
directly
through
media
. A noteworthy
refreshingly
intelligible statistic revealed by recent
social
research conducted in our country
show
that vast majorities of
people
especially
youth are at the
risk
of
social
disorders due the
fact
that
media
do not respect toward the age of
people
.

Another reason
that is
equally
important
if not more is that if
media
continuously
pay too much attention to the
famous
people
it will jeopardize
people&
#039; s
health
.
Broadly
speaking,
sometimes
celebrities
present on screen or glamorized advertise
in a hasty manner
such as smoking and it can be example for supporters everywhere that it is acceptable to smoke. To put it in other word, destructive habit by well-known
people
not
only
can
destroy
mental and physical
health
but
also
can contribute to the low self-esteem.
However
, what I alluded to above cannot
be overgeneralized
to all contexts. Alongside with the innumerable benefits it has,
indisputably
,
media
are the best means of communication which they can convey majorities of massages about
different
subjects to the public
but
hardly can they transmit those massage without glamorized advertising by
celebrities
.
Nevertheless
it does not
make
those preceding benefits pale.

To wrap it up,
media
care about well-known
people
and their personal
life
for
different
purposes which can bring
some
consequences. Contemplating all the aforementioned reason one
soon
realize that
life
of
many
celebrities
are not ideal and
use
their characters in
media
can put
people&
#039; s
life
especially
youngsters into
danger
due to
many
social
disorders.
In addition
,
media
advertise
different
products
in a hasty manner
such as smoking that can threat
people&
#039; s
health
and
destroy
their mental and physical
health
.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
61Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay TV, newspaper, magazine and other media pay too much attention to the personal lives of celebrities. v. 733

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
586 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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