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Internet crime is increasing rapidly as more and more people around the world are accessing the internet. What are the worst internet crimes? How can they be preventend? v.3

Internet crime is increasing rapidly as more and more people around the world are accessing the internet. What are the worst internet crimes? How can they be preventend? v. 3
In the last decade global access to the internet has increased, causing the growth of internet crime. Some of the crimes are minor, but others, such as sexual harassment and the spreading of fake news, are problems that have to be addressed. Parents are always worried when their children start to surf the internet on their own and they have the reason to. One of the most common crimes on the internet is sexual harassment; a crime that has risen a lot in recent years thanks to the birth of social networks. Usually, teenagers are the ones that are affected the most by this phenomenon and it is not always easy for a young girl or a young boy to understand what is happening and to talk about that with their parents or with the authorities. Another big problem with the internet and in particular with social networks, is the spread of fake news, invented with the aim of influencing public opinion. Certain people in order to make their personal interest make up news and exploit the fact that thanks to social networks, they will become viral in few hours. (< --Reword to: " Some people exploit social networks and news sites by providing fake news that quickly goes viral. " ) People on the internet are usually not aware of this possibility and do not check the source of the news to verify the authenticity. Social network administrators have to be aware of these problems and prevent them in a shared effort with the police. More control is needed and it is necessary to make people aware of these crimes in order to recognise them. It is also important to enhance the possibility of police intervention by increasing punishments as a deterrent. In conclusion, the rising popularity of internet crimes has to be faced more severely and the social networks themselves have an important role to play in this.
In the last decade global access to the internet has increased, causing the growth of internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are minor,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others, such as sexual harassment and the spreading of fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, are problems that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be addressed
.

Parents are always worried when their children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to surf the internet on their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
own and
they have the reason to. One of the most common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
on the internet is sexual harassment; a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
that has risen a lot in recent years thanks to the birth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
.
Usually
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are the ones that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the most by this phenomenon and it is not always easy for a young girl or a young boy to understand what is happening and to talk about that with their parents or with the authorities.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem with the internet and
in particular
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
, is the spread of fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, invented with the aim of influencing public opinion. Certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their personal interest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and exploit the fact that thanks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
, they will become viral in few hours. (
Possible spelling mistake found.
&lt
; --Reword to:
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
exploit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
sites by providing fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
that
quickly
goes viral.
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
;
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
on the internet are
usually
not aware of this possibility and do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the source of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
to verify the authenticity.

Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
administrators
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be aware of these problems and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them in a shared effort with the police. More control
is needed
and it is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aware of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in order to
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
them. It is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to enhance the possibility of police intervention by increasing punishments as a deterrent.

In conclusion
, the rising popularity of internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be faced
more
severely
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
themselves have an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to play in this.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Internet crime is increasing rapidly as more and more people around the world are accessing the internet. What are the worst internet crimes? How can they be preventend? v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
320 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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