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It is better for college students to live in schools than live at home with parents. Do you agree or disagree v.1

It is better for college students to live in schools than live at home with parents. v. 1
In recent years, many companies developed a trend of providing extra money as an incentive to the staff to perform exceptionally fantastic. Many people think that it is a perfect way to reward such hardworking employees whereas some argue it to be a malpractice affecting the others detrimentally. The proponents of the former school of thought have obvious reasons for which the above practice holds benefits to the organization. Firstly, bonuses encourage the staff to work more towards the achievement of the goal. They receive a sense of satisfaction that their hard work is not getting wasted and is paying off for them well. Secondly, financial reward acts as a proper appreciation to those who push themselves more than the others. The employer provides an extra economic support to the ones who worked day and night and presented themselves in a unique manner that is going to turn advantageous to them only. In a recent survey conducted by a national business magazine of 2018, in India, 85% of the employees were delighted with their salary, bonuses accounting for 43% of the profit gained by the company. However, the antagonists believe that there are many other ways to motivate the employees such as promotion and psychological boosts by worthy praise, get-togethers, parties and bonding sessions. Promoting the valuable assets of the company to a proper designation can create magic in the motivation levels. As a result, they work extra hard to achieve a much deserving reward. Furthermore, an appraisal of the company along with employer-employee bonding workshops help in the mental boosting as a result of positive yet competitive and constructive working environment, that in turn inspires a tension free performance benefitting the organization. As an instance, many famed multinational companies like TCS, India are following this strategy and progressing well. Thus, it can be concluded, although providing financial reward as an incentive, and has positive impacts in the form of employees encouragement and company appreciation, several other alternatives have been presented to us such as a rise in hierarchy level and worthy praise by the organization.
In recent years,
many
companies
developed a trend of providing extra money as an incentive to the staff to perform
exceptionally
fantastic.
Many
people
think
that it is a perfect way to
reward
such hardworking
employees
whereas
some
argue it to be a malpractice affecting the others
detrimentally
.

The proponents of the former school of
thought
have obvious reasons for which the above practice holds benefits to the organization.
Firstly
, bonuses encourage the staff to work more towards the achievement of the goal. They receive a sense of satisfaction that their
hard
work is not getting wasted and is paying off for them well.
Secondly
, financial
reward
acts as a proper appreciation to those who push themselves more than the others. The employer provides an extra economic support to the ones who worked day and night and presented themselves
in a unique manner
that is
going to turn advantageous to them
only
. In a recent survey conducted by a national business magazine of 2018, in India, 85% of the
employees
were delighted
with their salary, bonuses accounting for 43% of the profit gained by the
company
.

However
, the antagonists believe that there are
many
other
ways to motivate the
employees
such as promotion and psychological boosts by worthy praise,
get
-togethers, parties and bonding sessions. Promoting the valuable assets of the
company
to a proper designation can create magic in the motivation levels.
As a result
, they work extra
hard
to achieve a much deserving
reward
.
Furthermore
, an appraisal of the
company
along with employer-employee bonding workshops
help
in the mental boosting
as a result
of
positive
yet
competitive and constructive working environment, that in turn inspires a tension free performance
benefitting
the organization. As an instance,
many
famed multinational
companies
like TCS, India are following this strategy and progressing well.

Thus
, it can
be concluded
, although providing financial
reward
as an incentive, and has
positive
impacts in the form of
employees
encouragement and
company
appreciation, several
other
alternatives have
been presented
to us such as a rise in hierarchy level and worthy praise by the organization.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay It is better for college students to live in schools than live at home with parents. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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