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It is better for college students t live in schools than live at home with their parents. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

It is better for college students t live in schools than live at home with their parents. v. 2
That where college students should choose to live has controversial. It is believed that staying at university campus bring more advantages for students than living with their families. I partly agree with this view. To begin with, there are some benefits for students to live in schools. First and foremost, staying in college campus with the friends who are the same age provide people countless opportunities t develop a range of soft skills. For example, when students live in dormitory, they must cooperate with roommates, therefore abilities to adapt to different environments and work in team will increase. The also will know way to build the strong relationships and manage conflicts. This helps students a lot for their careers in the future. Secondly, college students are mature enough to live independently. The fact indicates that it is old enough for university students to have right to make their decisions. In addition, they will have more time to attend the extracurricular activities such as playing sports with friends. This helps students not only enlarge their knowledge but also improve their health. On the other hand, it is undeniable that there are some negative effects on students when they are away from their parents. Firstly, there are not relatives who take care of them. For instance, when students are under the weather, they must learn way to care about themselves and sometimes, they can have a hard buying drugs or cooking meals. Moreover, they will receive the clear directions and essential advice in some circumstances since their parents have more experiences than students to make the right decisions. In conclusion, although there are some benefits for college students to stay at home with their parents, I outweigh the advantages which living at schools bring.
That where college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
has controversial. It
is believed
that staying at university campus bring more advantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
than living with their families. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in schools.
First
and foremost, staying in college campus with the friends who are the same age provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
countless opportunities t develop a range of soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For example
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in dormitory, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
cooperate with roommates,
therefore
abilities to adapt to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
environments and work in team will increase. The
also
will know way to build the strong relationships and manage conflicts. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
a lot for their careers in the future.
Secondly
, college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
independently
. The fact indicates that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to have right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their decisions.
In addition
, they will have more time to attend the extracurricular activities such as playing sports with friends. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
enlarge their knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their health.

On the other hand
, it is undeniable that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
when they are away from their parents.
Firstly
, there are not relatives who take care of them.
For instance
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are under the weather, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
learn way to care about themselves and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, they can have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
buying drugs or cooking meals.
Moreover
, they will receive the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
directions and essential advice in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
circumstances since their parents have more experiences than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the right decisions.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits for college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to stay at home with their parents, I outweigh the advantages which living at schools bring.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
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IELTS essay It is better for college students t live in schools than live at home with their parents. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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