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It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. Do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words. v.10

It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. v. 10
Should students stay in hostels or should they continue to live in their family house? This topic has somewhat become debatable. I strongly agree with the premise that students must not live in their homes during student life. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss why living on campus is more effective and how living further away from the college can be a potential impediment to studies. To begin with, the biggest advantage of living in an on campus facility like a hostel is that students have access to all the necessary amenities like libraries, computer labs etc. Hence, they can conduct their studies more effectively. The ambience that on-campus residential facilities provide is also very conducive for studying. In addition to that, since hostels are normally situated in the same vicinity as the College campus, daily commute becomes very easy and is not at all hectic. In contrast, living in your parent’s house while studying has several inherent problems. For instance, in order to study productively and effectively, right environment is of absolute importance. Unfortunately, a well-disciplined environment of that of a classroom cannot be replicated at home. Students might spend more than usual time on extracurricular activities like playing video games, watching T. V. , excessively staying out at night with friends etc. Which may consequently impact their grades. To conclude, students must prefer to live in hostels instead of staying in their own house during college years. This will allow them to focus more efficiently on studies and they can also refrain themselves from engaging in unnecessary activities that may have a deteriorating impact on their study life.
Should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
stay in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hostels
or should they continue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in their family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
? This topic has somewhat become debatable. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the premise that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in their homes during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
life. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
on campus is more effective and how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
further
away from the college can be a potential impediment to studies.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the biggest advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in an on campus facility like a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hostel
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have access to all the necessary amenities like libraries, computer labs etc.
Hence
, they can conduct their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
more
effectively
. The ambience that on-campus residential facilities provide is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
conducive for studying.
In addition
to that, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hostels
are
normally
situated in the same vicinity as the College campus, daily commute becomes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy and is not at all hectic.

In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in your parent’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
while studying has several inherent problems.
For instance
, in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
productively
and
effectively
, right environment is of absolute importance. Unfortunately, a well-disciplined environment of that of a classroom cannot
be replicated
at home.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
might spend more than usual time on extracurricular activities like playing video games, watching T. V.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
excessively
staying out at night with friends etc.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
may
consequently
impact their grades.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hostels
instead
of staying in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
during college years. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to focus more
efficiently
on
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
studies and
they can
also
refrain themselves from engaging in unnecessary activities that may have a deteriorating impact on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
life.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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