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It is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to their parent s jobs than to choose jobs that are very different from their parent s job v.2

It is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to their parent s jobs than to choose jobs that are very different from their parent s job v. 2
Selection of a job is a very crucial and critical task of our lives. Job helps us to achieve our dreams and luxurious life style. Some people may say that it is good for children to pursue their parent’s job, while others disagree. However, in my view it is very beneficial, while we do job similar to our parents. I would like to explain it with following reasons. First and foremost, we get plenty of guidance from our parents. Whenever we have any trouble, we can discuss with them and get ideas to resolve the problem. For instance, my uncle, he is a very good businessperson in India. He has a construction material business. When my cousin was in the era to select his career, my uncle suggested him to be a Civil Engineer, which is field related to my uncle’s business. Fortunately, my cousin liked it. When he was doing a project after his study, he had an issue with a construction equipment. Immediately, he got a suggestion from my uncle. My uncle did not help him, as he wanted his son to be brave and hard worker. Eventually, my cousin completed his project with excellence. Right now, he is earning great amount of money with internal satisfaction. He is glad to select that career option. Therefore, we can get motivation and appreciation from our parents, if we do the same job. Secondly, we can learn from their experience. Since we are kids, we always heard about our parent’s job and their issues. If we select same career, we can use their experience and broaden our horizon. For instance, my father is a Pharmacist; he has a Pharmacy store in India. When I was a teenager, I was working in the store. Actually, I was doing all chores there, like arranging all the medicines in the racks and collecting prescription etc. I saw my father, when he talked with patients. Eventually, I liked that work and felt very good that its a noble work, where we get chance to help people. Therefore, I selected my major as Pharmacy and i really love my field. If I select any other field without any knowledge and experience, I might not like it. For me, it was very easy to follow my parent’s job as my career. It was like a piece of a cake. Moreover, it gives joy and happiness, when I do my job. My father is an ideal person for me and its honorable thing for me to follow him as a guide. In sum, it is better to select career in parent’s field. To wrap up all, I am agree that it is better for children to choose job, which is similar to their parents’ job because we get proper guidance and experience from them. Everyone should consider their parent’s field, while selecting career.
Selection of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial and critical task of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to achieve our dreams and luxurious life style.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may say that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for children to pursue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, while others disagree.
However
, in my view it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial, while we do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
similar to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it with following reasons.

First
and foremost, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of guidance from our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. Whenever we have any trouble, we can discuss with them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to resolve the problem.
For instance
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uncle
, he is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
businessperson in India. He has a construction material business. When my cousin was in the era to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
select
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uncle
suggested him to be a Civil Engineer, which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
related to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uncle’s
business.
Fortunately
, my cousin liked it. When he was doing a project after his study, he had an issue with a construction equipment. Immediately, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a suggestion from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uncle
. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uncle
did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him, as he wanted his son to be brave and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
worker.
Eventually
, my cousin completed his project with excellence. Right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, he is earning great amount of money with internal satisfaction. He is glad to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
select
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
option.
Therefore
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
motivation and appreciation from our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, if we do the same job.

Secondly
, we can learn from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. Since we are kids, we always heard about our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and their issues. If we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
select
same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and broaden our horizon.
For instance
, my father is a Pharmacist; he has a Pharmacy store in India. When I was a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
, I was working in the store. Actually, I was doing all chores there, like arranging all the medicines in the racks and collecting prescription etc. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
my father, when he talked with patients.
Eventually
, I liked that work and felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
that
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
a noble work, where we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Therefore
, I selected my major as Pharmacy and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
. If I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
select
any other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
without any knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, I might not like it. For me, it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to follow my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. It was like a piece of a cake.
Moreover
, it gives joy and happiness, when I do my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. My father is an ideal person for me and its honorable thing for me to follow him as a guide. In sum, it is better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
select
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
field.

To wrap up all, I am
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is better for children to choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, which is similar to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper guidance and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
from them. Everyone should consider their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
, while selecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay It is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to their parent s jobs than to choose jobs that are very different from their parent s job v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
476 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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