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It is believed that people s health will be worse in the future than is it today To what extent do you agree or disagree v.1

It is believed that people s health will be worse in the future than is it today v. 1
It is universally acknowledged that ' health is wealth' . without good health our life is like ' a bed of thorns' . It is argued that health standard of people will decline radically in the years to come. Here, I would like to discord with given statement. There are multifarious points to shore up my point of view. First and foremost, the existence of health awareness and education is expected to encurage people towards healthy eating habit simultaneously avert fast foods. Consequently, people will be enriched with great health. In addition, the presence of medical facilities and medicines is likely to ensure good health. To illustrate this, it will be easier to cure almost every ailment or health disorder by cardiac operations and drugs. Hence, people will be more prosperous regarding health. Further emphasizing on my point of view, the widespread availability of fitness centers, health clubs, yoga and arobic classes could be fruitful to bless people with splendid physical fitness. Therefore, people will stay fit as a fiddle. Last but not least, the prevalence of meditation, taking balanced diet and relaxing properly is gaining ground due to educational advancements. Thence, people are going to be nourished with superb health conditions. By contrast, others have contrasting view. They think that increasingly fast food culture, working hours and stress of work load will lead to several health problems. Apart from it, imbalanced ecological conditions, climate changes, rising temperature are supposed to biggest menace for human health. For instance, global warming deforestation, pollution, waste material are on the rise on account or mushrooming population. As a result, health of people will be more vulnerable in future. To recapitulate, undeniably, various problems realeted to health are spreading their roots but still I believe that being more health concious because of education, health awareness, medical facilities, people will be owner of good health.
It is
universally
acknowledged that '
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
wealth&
#039;
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
our life is like ' a bed of
Possible spelling mistake found.
thorns&
#039;
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
It
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will decline
radically
in the years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
. Here, I would like to discord with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement.

There are multifarious points to shore up my point of view.
First
and foremost, the existence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
awareness and education is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
encurage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards healthy eating habit
simultaneously
avert
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
foods.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
be enriched
with great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
In addition
, the presence of medical facilities and medicines is likely to ensure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. To illustrate this, it will be easier to cure almost every ailment or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
disorder by cardiac operations and drugs.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be more prosperous regarding health.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
emphasizing on my point of view, the widespread availability of fitness centers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
clubs, yoga and
Possible spelling mistake found.
arobic
classes could be fruitful to bless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with splendid physical fitness.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will stay fit as a fiddle. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the prevalence of meditation, taking balanced diet and relaxing
properly
is gaining ground due to educational advancements. Thence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are going to
be nourished
with superb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
conditions. By contrast, others have contrasting view.

They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
increasingly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food culture, working hours and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of work load will lead to several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems. Apart from it, imbalanced ecological conditions, climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
, rising temperature
are supposed
to
A determiner is probably missing here: "the biggest".
biggest
menace for human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
For instance
, global warming deforestation, pollution, waste material are on the rise on account or mushrooming population.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be more vulnerable
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

To recapitulate,
undeniably
, various problems
Possible spelling mistake found.
realeted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
are spreading their roots
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
I believe that being more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
Possible spelling mistake found.
concious
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of education,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
awareness, medical facilities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be owner of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS essay It is believed that people s health will be worse in the future than is it today v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
310 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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