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Media surrounds us, from the shows we watch on television to the music we listen to on the radio. How does media affect the society? Do you agree that the impact of media has more disadvantages than benefits? v.2

Media surrounds us, from the shows we watch on television to the music we listen to on the radio. How does media affect the society? Do you agree that the impact of media has more disadvantages than benefits? v. 2
In this modern era, media has completely pervaded our life due to the easy accessibility of entertainment means such as radio, television, internet etc. It has both negative and positive influence on society. In my opinion, the disadvantages of media outweigh its advantages. Firstly, presence of media leads to the spreading of fake news. Many people misuse media as a source of creating rumors. This results in the outspread of wrong and sensationalized news which consequently develops a sense of fear and negativity in society. For example, the false news of any celebrity' s demise often goes viral on social media sites like Facebook or Instagram. Moreover, media is responsible for developing anger as well as immorality among people. There are numerous TV shows that contain a lot of violence and bloodshed. Such kind of programs create an atrocious picture of society and thus badly affect people, especially youngsters. One can say that media also incites people in committing crimes. However, it is also agreeable that media is deemed useful in many ways. Nowadays, people get updated with latest news and current affairs due to the easy access to media on mobile phones, laptops, TV etc. Modern people are wary of what' s happening in their surroundings and what are the latest ongoing trends in world. For instance, there are various news channels that not only telecast news, but also air programs in different fields such as technology. Therefore, media keeps you more updated and cautious about the recent activities of the world. To recapitulate, although media has various educational benefits, but its limitations are far more visible than its advantages.
In this modern era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has completely pervaded our life due to the easy accessibility of entertainment means such as radio, television, internet etc. It has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence on society. In my opinion, the disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
outweigh its advantages.

Firstly
, presence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
leads to the spreading of fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
misuse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
as a source of creating rumors. This results in the outspread of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and sensationalized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
which
consequently
develops a sense of fear and negativity in society.
For example
, the false
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
of any
Possible spelling mistake found.
celebrity&
#039; s demise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
goes viral on social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
sites like Facebook or Instagram.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is responsible for developing anger
as well
as immorality among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. There are numerous TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that contain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
violence and bloodshed. Such kind of programs create an atrocious picture of society and
thus
badly
affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
youngsters. One can say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
also
incites
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in committing crimes.

However
, it is
also
agreeable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is deemed
useful in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
updated with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
affairs due to the easy access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
on mobile phones, laptops, TV etc. Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are wary of
Possible spelling mistake found.
what&
#039; s happening in their surroundings and what are the latest ongoing trends in world.
For instance
, there are various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
channels that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
telecast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
air programs in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields such as technology.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
you more updated and cautious about the recent activities of the world.

To recapitulate, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has various educational benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its limitations are far more visible than its advantages.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Media surrounds us, from the shows we watch on television to the music we listen to on the radio. How does media affect the society? Do you agree that the impact of media has more disadvantages than benefits? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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