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It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v.6

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v. 6
These days, many people are considering taking a year off between school and university. Having a year off can have its advantages and disadvantages depending on how one utilises their available time. In this essay, I am going to discuss the benefits and problems associated with this and support them with examples. Firstly, One benefit of having a year off is, it can be spent on honing one's skills and knowledge before entering the university. This can be useful as students can improve their understanding of various subjects and focus on their weaknesses. An increased grip on the subject can help improve the grades achieved at the university, thus overall increasing the job prospects. Furthermore, one can also gain practical knowledge by working in this free time which could lead to better college opportunities and scholarships. This is because institutions prefer someone who has both practical and good grades rather than someone who has only better grades. However, if the time off is wasted and not spent properly then it can be a disadvantage. This is an issue because a person can lose touch with his subjects which can affect his performance in the college. Also, they might have to take the extra burden of preparing the basics taught in school along with studying the university subjects. This could result in more stress and further deterioration of their grades and health. To conclude, even though taking time off before joining a university is ideal, whether it's an advantage or not entirely depends on how one chooses to utilise the time available.
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are considering taking a year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
off
between school and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. Having a year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
off
can have its advantages and disadvantages depending on how one
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilises' is British English.
utilises
their available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. In this essay, I am going to discuss the benefits and problems associated with this and support them with examples.

Firstly
, One benefit of having a year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
off
is, it can
be spent
on honing one's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
entering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. This can be useful as students can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their understanding of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and focus on their weaknesses. An increased grip on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the grades achieved at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
,
thus
overall
increasing the job prospects.
Furthermore
, one can
also
gain practical knowledge by working in this free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which could lead to better college opportunities and scholarships. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
institutions prefer someone who has both practical and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades
rather
than someone who has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "bettered", "welled".
better
grades.

However
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
off
is wasted
and not spent
properly
then it can be a disadvantage. This is an issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a person can lose touch with his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
which can affect his performance in the college.
Also
, they might
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take the extra burden of preparing the basics taught in school along with studying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. This could result in more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and
further
deterioration of their grades and health.

To conclude
,
even though
taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
off
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
joining a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is ideal, whether it's an advantage or not
entirely
depends on how one chooses to
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
available.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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