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It has become increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. Some people think that a year off is just a waste of time while others believe that it is necessary. Discuss. v.2

It has become increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. Some people think that a year off is just a waste of time while others believe that it is necessary. Discuss. v. 2
These days the trend of dropping a year after school and before joining university is becoming increasingly pronounced, which is a topic of contention among people. Some people believe that by doing this students are wasting time as it takes away a year of continuity from study bringing down their intellectual level, while others claim it to be highly important for the development of students allowing them a chance to explore a variety of options that they wish to take ahead in university, later. Further, the essay will discuss both the school of thoughts. On one hand, people hold a belief that when students miss a year after school, it is just wastage of time, nothing else because this creates a gap in their study bringing down their intellectual level by breaking the consistency. It is also believed that students start loosing their interest in their study by taking time off away from books. For example, when student takes an year off away from study, one is tend to enjoy their time by getting involved in their hobbies that they missed out while studying. This further detach him/her from studies and may end up not joining the university later. On the other hand, people claim that taking a year gap after school and university allow students to take out time for themselves and explore their interests in different fields, which will further which will further help them in making wise choices with regards to their courses in university. For Instance, this year gap allows students to have time to enroll in different short term internship programs run by different organizations to explore their fields of choices by getting their hands dirty on the field further making them confident about their career path that they will choose in university. To summarize, while some people consider missing a year as a sheer wastage of time considering the gap in study, others believe it to be the right choice helping them explore their fields of interests.
These days the trend of dropping a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
joining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is becoming
increasingly
pronounced, which is a topic of contention among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that by doing
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as it takes away a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of continuity from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
bringing down their intellectual level, while others claim it to be
highly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
allowing them a chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
explore
a variety of options that they wish to take ahead in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, later.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Further
, the essay will discuss both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
of thoughts.

On one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold a belief that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
miss a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
wastage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, nothing else
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this creates a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
bringing down their intellectual level by breaking the consistency. It is
also
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
loosing their interest in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
by taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
off away from books.
For example
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
takes
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
off away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
, one is
Consider using a past participle here: "tended".
tend
to enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by getting involved in their hobbies that they missed out while studying. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
detach him/her from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
and may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up not joining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
later.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to take out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for themselves and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
explore
their interests in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
, which will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
which will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in making wise choices
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
with regards to
their courses in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
For Instance
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to enroll in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
short term internship programs run by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
organizations to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
explore
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
of choices by getting their hands dirty on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
making them confident about their career path that they will choose in university.

To summarize
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider missing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
as a sheer wastage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
considering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
, others believe it to be the right choice helping them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
explore
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
of interests.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
58Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay It has become increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. Some people think that a year off is just a waste of time while others believe that it is necessary. Discuss. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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