Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It has become increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. Some people think that a year off is just a waste of time while others believe that it is necessary. Discuss. v.1

It has become increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. Some people think that a year off is just a waste of time while others believe that it is necessary. Discuss. v. 1
Government has been providing more financial help to artists. While some would argue that this scheme should continue, I believe that those funds should be instead spent on development of other sectors those need more focus. On the one hand, giving the financial aid to artists to help them excel in their career. This is because artists have trouble in making money to meet their month end expenses at starting stage of career thus helping them financially result in focusing on work. For example, a report put out by the Times of India shows that the increasing number of experts in classical dance since a decade is due to the aid given by the administration as most of the artisans are switching to another profession because of poor financial status. However, I believe that authorities should use money in the sector where there is a lack of development. On the other hand, it is thought that departments that are falling behind in development need more focus. This is to say that in countries like Uganda, Brazil, and Srilanka, primary and secondary schools do not have basic facilities such as drinking water, restrooms, compound walls, and sanitation as a result, children are at high risk of falling ill, finally leading to hospitalization. Utilizing funds in this sector result in improved amenities, therefore ensures student safety. For instance, a survey conducted by the UNESCO across the world found that 65% of people desire are that the Government should use money to develop the sector where there is less growth. In conclusion, although giving financial assistance to craftsman and craftswoman helps in career improvement, spending those funds for the development of deprived sectors is a more preferable option.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
has been providing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to artists. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
would argue that this scheme should continue, I believe that those funds should be
instead
spent on development of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
those need more focus.

On the one hand, giving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
aid to artists to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them excel in their career. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
artists have trouble in making money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their month
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
expenses at starting stage of career
thus
helping them
financially
result in focusing on work.
For example
, a report put out by
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
the Times of India
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the increasing number of experts in classical dance since a decade is due to the aid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by the administration as most of the artisans are switching to another profession
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
status.
However
, I believe that authorities should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
money in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
where there is a lack of development.

On the other hand
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that departments that are falling behind in development need more focus. This is to say that in countries like Uganda, Brazil, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Srilanka
, primary and secondary schools do not have basic facilities such as drinking water, restrooms, compound walls, and sanitation
as a result
, children are at high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of falling ill,
finally
leading to hospitalization. Utilizing funds in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
result in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
amenities,
therefore
ensures student safety.
For instance
, a survey conducted by the UNESCO across the world found that 65% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
desire are that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
money to develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
where there is less growth.

In conclusion
, although giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
assistance to craftsman and craftswoman
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in career improvement, spending those funds for the development of deprived
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
is a more preferable option.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay It has become increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. Some people think that a year off is just a waste of time while others believe that it is necessary. Discuss. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts