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Ambition is being emphasized in today’s society. How important do you think it is for people who want to succeed in life? Is it a positive or negative characteristic? v.1

Ambition is being emphasized in today’s society. How important do you think it is for people who want to succeed in life? Is it a positive or negative characteristic? v. 1
Nowadays, ambitious personality is being highlighted. This essay will discuss the significance of this characteristic for individuals who are trying to achieve success and whether it is a good or bad trait. To start with, it is absolutely crucial to have ambition in order to achieve something in life. Firstly, to reach the ultimate goal, an individual would have to stay motivated from the start of the project until the end. This can be achieved by being ambitious as it will help encourage a person to be persistent and determined to reach the point of success. Some examples of successful people with great ambitions are, Mark Zuckerburg, Steve Jobs, and Bill Gates. Secondly, ambition can help progress a person’s career. As this trait can enhance an employee’s performance by helping them work harder and more efficiently, it is very likely that they would get promoted to a higher rank. Nevertheless, while ambition is beneficial from a professional standpoint, it may damage personal relationships. To illustrate, being extremely determined to achieve a goal, some people are willing to belittle others, like coworkers, in order to succeed. For example, a person may want to get a promotion, but another employee is more qualified, so they gossip about their competitor’s flaws to their employer. Hence, being too ambitious can cause other personnel to distance themselves from the individual. Furthermore, being too ambitious may also lead to bad mental health. As determination can bring stress and unsatisfaction with the work that a person may be trying accomplish, it would cause issues with well-being, like migraines, depression and other psychological problems. In conclusion, although ambition is important in terms of success and career advancement, it may affect emotional strength and harm certain relationships, especially those in a workplace.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ambitious
personality is
being highlighted
. This essay will discuss the significance of this characteristic for individuals who are trying to achieve success and whether it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
trait.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, it is
absolutely
crucial to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ambition
in order to achieve something in life.
Firstly
, to reach the ultimate goal, an individual would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stay motivated from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of the project until the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
. This can
be achieved
by being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ambitious
as it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
encourage a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to be persistent and determined to reach the point of success.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
examples of successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ambitions
are, Mark
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zuckerburg
, Steve Jobs, and Bill Gates.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ambition
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
progress a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
career. As this trait can enhance an employee’s performance by helping them work harder and more
efficiently
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
likely that they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
promoted to a higher rank.

Nevertheless
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ambition
is beneficial from a professional standpoint, it may damage personal relationships. To illustrate, being
extremely
determined to achieve a goal,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are willing to belittle others, like coworkers, in order to succeed.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
may want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a promotion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
another employee is more qualified,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they gossip about their competitor’s flaws to their employer.
Hence
, being too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ambitious
can cause other personnel to distance themselves from the individual.
Furthermore
, being too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ambitious
may
also
lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
mental health. As determination can bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and unsatisfaction with the work that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
may be
Probably a preposition is missing after 'trying'.
trying accomplish
, it would cause issues with well-being, like migraines, depression and other psychological problems.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ambition
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in terms of success and career advancement, it may affect emotional strength and harm certain relationships,
especially
those in a workplace.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Ambition is being emphasized in today’s society. How important do you think it is for people who want to succeed in life? Is it a positive or negative characteristic? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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