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It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v.15

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v. 15
Everyone has different living standards either someone love to live in the house and other love to live in an apartment. I usually love to live in a house because of a privacy. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss either living in an apartment is better or living in a bungalow. According to some people, living in a high rise apartment make them very depressing. It solely depends on the nature of the inhabitants that if they are unsocial then they can not socialize while living in a flat with other families living with you in another flat in the same building. For example, in third world countries majority people live in the flat so they adapt them self to socialize with other people living with them to avoid a loneliness. On the other hand, living in a mansion is beneficial because of various reasons. One of the common reasons is a privacy, everyone loves to have their own privacy so they opt for a private home instead of an apartment. For example, In first world countries people prefer to live in a separate mansion due to their private life and other factors. To sum up, I believe that living in a separate mansion attracts me due to various advantages like you have your own private parking place, there will be no children’s noise while playing and much more. Due to various reasons and conflicts in the personality, some people still prefer living in a house and some will prefer living in a flat.
Everyone has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
standards either someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "loves", "loved".
love
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
. I
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a privacy. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
is better or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a bungalow.

According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a high rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
depressing. It
solely
depends on the nature of the inhabitants that if they are unsocial then they can not socialize while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flat
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
families
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with you in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flat
in the same building.
For example
, in third world countries majority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they adapt them self to socialize with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with them to avoid a loneliness.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a mansion is beneficial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of various reasons. One of the common reasons is a privacy, everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loves
to have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
privacy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they opt for a private home
instead
of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
.
For example
, In
first
world countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a separate mansion due to their private life and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors.

To sum up, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a separate mansion attracts me due to various advantages like you have your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
private parking place, there will be no children’s noise while playing and much more. Due to various reasons and conflicts in the personality,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
will prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flat
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v. 15

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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