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It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v.14

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v. 14
Recently, there are more people opting for a gap year before they go for their tertiary studies after graduating high school. Although there are differing views, I feel that there are more advantages than the disadvantages. One evident benefit of taking a gap year is that it allows students to have a new experience of their usual school life. For example, students can go for internships or volunteering activities during their gap year. Other than studying in a traditional classroom, they get to learn new skills and obtain hands-on experience. Secondly, students are allowed more time to decide on their future study pathways. After high school, students are usually rushed to go to universities and they might choose a course which is not suitable for them. During their gap year, students can explore and dive deep into their interests. They also can apply for jobs in their field of interest so they can decide if they want to enrol in a related course in university. On the other hand, students might also face drawbacks by taking a year off before going to university. First of all, students might not utilise their gap year well, resulting in a waste of time. Although it is acceptable to take time off studying, it does not mean that students can spend time wastefully. Students might end up spending their time on games and other entertainment unproductive for the whole year. In conclusion, although opinions are diverse, I believe that the advantages far outweigh the drawbacks. Therefore, students do not need to shy away from the idea of taking a gap year before making a major decision of your study pathway.
Recently, there are more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opting for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they go for their tertiary studies after
The verb 'to graduate' requires the preposition 'from': "graduating from".
graduating
high school. Although there are differing views, I feel that there are more advantages than the disadvantages.

One evident benefit of taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to have a new experience of their usual school life.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can go for internships or volunteering activities during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. Other than studying in a traditional classroom, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to learn new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and obtain hands-on experience.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to decide on their future study pathways. After high school,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
usually
rushed to go to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
universities and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
choose a course which is not suitable for them. During their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can explore and dive deep into their interests. They
also
can apply for jobs in their field of interest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can decide if they want to enrol in a related course in university.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
also
face drawbacks by taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
off
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going to university.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
well, resulting in a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Although it is acceptable to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
off studying, it does not mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
wastefully
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up spending their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on games and other entertainment unproductive for the whole year.

In conclusion
, although opinions are diverse, I believe that the advantages far outweigh the drawbacks.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not need to shy away from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making a major decision of your study pathway.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v. 14

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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