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In some countries, it is possible for people to have a variety of food that has been transported from all over the world. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

In some countries, it is possible for people to have a variety of food that has been transported from all over the world. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
With the advanced transportation systems, a wider range of food products can be delivered throughout all the world. Although some people insist many benefits can be anticipated from importing food items, I would argue that this has more harmful effects on society. Admittedly, importing food products could bring about some positive consequences. To begin with, many people can enjoy many different kinds of food, owing to expanding international trade. Each country has different environment. Therefore, each ground can grow different types of vegetables and fruits. For example, in Korea, people cannot purchase tropical fruits without international trade. As a result, many people can experience novel food without travelling, sharing traditional cuisine. Another benefit is that the government can build a faithful relationship between countries through trade. This is because they can provide each other with essential food products. Thus, they can have an interaction between them in many good ways. However, I still believe that these benefits can be outweighed by the drawbacks. The increasing amount of transportation in terms of trade can cause environmental issues. A number of emissions can be discharged from these transportations, utilizing a wide range of fossil fuel. Consequently, the environment can be contaminated by the exhaust gas. As a local farmer living in a country which imports products, they find it difficult to survive in marketing. This is because importing food tends to be cost-effective. Therefore, many people are likely to buy imports, instead of domestic items. In this sense, the local producers could face difficulties financially. In conclusion, I understand the positive effects of food imports such as the experience of novel food and establishing relationship between countries. However, according to the aforementioned reasons such as the polluted environment and the financial difficulty of local farmers, I still believe that this should be seen as a negative development.
With the advanced transportation systems, a wider range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
can
be delivered
throughout all the world. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
insist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits can
be anticipated
from importing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
items, I would argue that this has more harmful effects on society.

Admittedly
, importing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
could bring about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
consequences. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can enjoy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, owing to expanding international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
. Each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
environment.
Therefore
, each ground can grow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of vegetables and fruits.
For example
, in Korea,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
tropical fruits without international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can experience novel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
without travelling, sharing traditional cuisine. Another benefit is that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can build a faithful relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can provide each other with essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Thus
, they can have an interaction between them in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
ways.

However
, I
still
believe that these benefits can
be outweighed
by the drawbacks. The increasing amount of transportation in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
can cause environmental issues. A number of emissions can
be discharged
from these transportations, utilizing a wide range of fossil fuel.
Consequently
, the environment can
be contaminated
by the exhaust gas. As a local farmer living in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which imports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, they find it difficult to survive in marketing. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
importing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
tends to
be cost
-effective.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
imports,
instead
of domestic items. In this sense, the local producers could face difficulties
financially
.

In conclusion
, I understand the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
imports such as the experience of novel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and establishing relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
However
, according to the aforementioned reasons such as the polluted environment and the financial difficulty of local farmers, I
still
believe that this should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, it is possible for people to have a variety of food that has been transported from all over the world. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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