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Countries should restrict foreign companies from opening offices and factories in order to protect local businesses. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Countries should restrict foreign companies from opening offices and factories in order to protect local businesses. v. 1
In this Neoteric era, many overseas factories open their branches in this country. However, a plethora of people presumes that demolish international fabric is the best measure to save the local markets. This essay firmly does not agree with this statement and will depict the reasons. To begin with, satisfying many inhabitants’ volition is the primary reason why other companies can execute their business locally. Many people prefer to have some items from foreign companies because they believe that worldwide qualities are much better than locals. If the government chooses to close other fabric, many people will struggle. Eventually, although the import cost is considerably expensive, they will forcibly order it because they argue that the local’s product is much inferior. Furthermore, local companies will endeavour to create an immaculate product. Due to local and overseas competition, both of them are working hard to entice customers. Therefore, they will sacrifice their finances to build perfect quality. Finally, however, it will take a long time; the local’s strength will undoubtedly equal to foreign. Hence, other countries will acknowledge local products and were enticed to buy the products. In contrast, when the store does not want to undergo temporarily to the deficit, the chance for grabbing local consumers is lower than the companies that have good quality and reasonable prices. In conclusion, foreign companies can engulf local stores. Irrespective of the foible, if the companies can devote all of their energy and cost, seizing overseas companies’ customers and the profit is possible.
In this Neoteric era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
overseas factories open their branches in this country.
However
, a plethora of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
presumes that demolish international fabric is the best measure to save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets. This essay
firmly
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and will depict the reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, satisfying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
inhabitants’ volition is the primary reason why other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can execute their business
locally
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
items from foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they believe that worldwide qualities are much better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
chooses to close other fabric,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will struggle.
Eventually
, although the import cost is
considerably
expensive, they will
forcibly
order it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is much inferior.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
will
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
to create an immaculate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. Due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
and overseas competition, both of them are working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to entice customers.
Therefore
, they will sacrifice their finances to build perfect quality.
Finally
,
however
, it will take a long time; the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local’s
strength will
undoubtedly
equal to foreign.
Hence
, other countries will acknowledge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
were enticed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
In contrast
, when the store does not want to undergo
temporarily
to the deficit, the chance for grabbing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
consumers is lower than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
that have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality and reasonable prices.

In conclusion
, foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can engulf
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
stores. Irrespective of the foible, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can devote all of their energy and cost, seizing overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies’
customers and the profit is possible.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Countries should restrict foreign companies from opening offices and factories in order to protect local businesses. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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