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In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution? v.7

In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution? v. 7
It has been argued that people who have own vehicles should heavily taxed so that the public transport system can be developed from the tax funds. However, there are some benefits and drawbacks to such a trend that need to be considered. Firstly, the number of vehicles will be dropped because of the tight taxation for private vehicle owners is applied. This kind of regulation discourages other to possess vehicles because the owner not only expend any amount of money but also for fuel and car maintenance. As a result, they transform their daily accommodation to public transportation. Secondly, it is well known that many public facilities is not feasible to use due to lack of financial resources. Therefore, imposing tax on private car users could be a way for governments to earn some money and invest it for upgrading public transportation services. Consequently, people will not hesitate to travel by buses or trains any more. On the other hand, there are some negative outcomes of this approach. Imposing unreasonable fines on its citizens can lead to disputes between the authorities and the general public. In addition, there are some underdeveloped countries with their resident only have modest incomes and tax on private vehicles will put them in severe financial difficulties. In this regard, protests can be emerge in the country and make the country’s economic situation quite dangerous. Moreover, it is for people to decide whether they should use public transport or not even though this service is fascinating. In conclusion, it is true that some beneficial will appear following the impost such as developing public transportation with the best service. However, there are some disadvantages that need to be considered.
It has
been argued
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
should
heavily
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "tax"
taxed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport system can
be developed
from the tax funds.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits and drawbacks to such a trend that need to
be considered
.

Firstly
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
will
be dropped
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the tight taxation for private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
owners
is applied
. This kind of regulation discourages other to possess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the owner not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
expend any amount of money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for fuel and car maintenance.
As a result
, they transform their daily accommodation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation.
Secondly
, it is well known that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
facilities is not feasible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
due to lack of financial resources.
Therefore
, imposing tax on private car users could be a way for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money and invest it for upgrading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation services.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will not hesitate to travel by buses or trains
Did you mean the adverb "anymore"?
any more
.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcomes of this approach. Imposing unreasonable fines on its citizens can lead to disputes between the authorities and the general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
.
In addition
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
underdeveloped countries with their resident
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have modest incomes and tax on private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
will put them in severe financial difficulties. In this regard, protests can be
Consider using the past participle "emerged"?
emerge
in the country and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the country’s economic situation quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
.
Moreover
, it is for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to decide whether they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport or not
even though
this service is fascinating.

In conclusion
, it is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
beneficial will appear following the impost such as developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation with the best service.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages that need to
be considered
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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