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It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year of between finishing school and going to university. What are the adventatges and disadventatges of this? v.1

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year of between finishing school and going to university. What are the adventatges and disadventatges of this? v. 1
Nowadays, there’s more often a lot of students who prefer taking a sevatic year rather than go to university as soon as they finish their undergraduate studies. Despite I believe this option can carry a few disadvantages with it, I also agree that people who have had a year off is better prepared and capable to go to university in the future. Firstly, in one hand, I think that one of the main disadvantages of taking a year off is what concerns relationships. Sometimes, for those students who decide to take a year off, it is more likely to lose their relationship with their classmates and this in some cases can result in isolation and depression, especially in such a young age. One of the other complications is that for some students it might result in a hard effort to keep going with their academic life once they have been a long time out of it. However, on the other hand, I believe that taking a year off is a good opportunity for a lot of students in order to get relaxed and try to do different activities, such as working or travel. For a lot of students, having a job to work at is the best way they have to realize the real meaning of money as well as thinking about what they would like or not to do in the next years of their lives. Furthermore, the lucky ones who have the choice to travel and learn a foreign language, have more experience than those students who go to university as soon as their scholar programme has finished. In conclusion, despite it can be a hard decision I think that having a year off is sometimes necessary in order to have the knowledge and maturity enough that going to university requires.
Nowadays, there’s more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
prefer taking a
Possible spelling mistake found.
sevatic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
rather
than go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they finish their undergraduate studies. Despite I believe this option can carry a few disadvantages with it, I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have had a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
off
is better prepared and capable to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
in the future.

Firstly
, in one hand, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that one of the main disadvantages of taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
off
is what concerns relationships.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
decide to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
off
, it is more likely to lose their relationship with their classmates and this in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases can result in isolation and depression,
especially
in such a young age. One of the other complications is that for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
it might result in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
effort to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
going with their academic life once they have been a long time out of it.

However
,
on the other hand
, I believe that taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
off
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
relaxed and try to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities, such as working or travel. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, having a job to work at is the best way they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
realize the real meaning of money
as well
as thinking about what they would like or not to do in the
next
years of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Furthermore
, the lucky ones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have the choice to travel and learn a foreign language, have more experience than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as their scholar
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
has finished.

In conclusion
, despite it can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
decision I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
off
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
necessary in order to have the knowledge and maturity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
that going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
requires.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year of between finishing school and going to university. What are the adventatges and disadventatges of this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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