Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It is argued that the parents of children who break the rules should be punished in some ways as parents are responsible for the children's actions. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

It is argued that the parents of children who break the rules should be punished in some ways as parents are responsible for the children's actions. v. 1
It is debated by some people that parents of children who breach the law, should be penalized in the same ways. I disagree, as no parent would ever encourage his or her child to become a criminal, and punishing the parents for the fault of one child would be unfair to the other siblings. Parents, no matter how many offences they have committed themselves, would never persuade their child to break the law. That is to say, parents have an innate desire, to raise their child to become a successful, law-abiding citizen. However, kids these days hardly ever listen to their parents, and yearn for independence, at a very early age, from their parents and law. For instance, a recent survey in UK showed, almost 80% of the children who were caught shoplifting, were already being seriously condemned and punished by their parents. Another reason I am against punishing the parents for the crimes of their child is that this would be unfair to the other innocent siblings. They have done nothing wrong, and thus, don’t deserve to have their parents taken away form them. Putting their parents in jail would also increase their chances of following the bad path and the whole family would be destroyed. Children raised in social care centers and foster homes are known to have 10 times more personality disorders and violent temperaments. In conclusion, parents should not be convicted for their children breaking the law, as they try their best to deter them from doing so. Moreover, this will be unjust to the other siblings who didn’t commit any offence.
It
is debated
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who breach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
, should
be penalized
in the same ways. I disagree, as no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
would ever encourage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to become a criminal, and punishing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for the fault of one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
would be unfair to the other siblings.

Parents, no matter how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
they have committed themselves, would never persuade their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to break the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
.
That is
to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have an innate desire, to raise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to become a successful, law-abiding citizen.
However
, kids these days hardly ever listen to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, and yearn for independence, at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early age, from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
.
For instance
, a recent survey in UK
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
, almost 80% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
were caught
shoplifting, were already being
seriously
condemned and punished by their parents.

Another reason I am against punishing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for the crimes of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is that this would be unfair to the other innocent siblings. They have done nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, and
thus
, don’t deserve to have their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
taken away form them. Putting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in jail would
also
increase their chances of following the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
path and the whole family would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
raised in social care centers and foster homes
are known
to have 10 times more personality disorders and violent temperaments.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should not
be convicted
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
breaking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
, as they try their best to deter them from doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
Moreover
, this will be unjust to the other siblings who didn’t commit any
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay It is argued that the parents of children who break the rules should be punished in some ways as parents are responsible for the children's actions. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts